


The 100 Reclassified

by Lilmsgay



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 07:39:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6946033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilmsgay/pseuds/Lilmsgay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would have happened if Lexa wasn't the Commander of the 12 clans but was part of the 100. Her and Clarke are drawn to each other obviously</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I'm writing anything fan fiction so please bear with me if it is't that good. Please leave any comments on what you liked and what I could do better for the following chapters. I'm thinking about updating every Monday and Thursday. So far it's only in Clarke and Lexa's POV, you will be able to tell which one is who. I'm still thinking about adding in the other characters so let me know what you guys want to see! Thank you for reading my work and I hope you enjoy! :)

I was drawing peacefully of a dream, seeming more like a memory than anything else, when the doors swooshed open and I’m commanded to stand by the back wall. It could have been around 9 pm, we’re usually “suppose to be” in bed by now so it took me by surprise when they started to handcuff me. I wasn’t 18 yet; I still had a month left till my review.  
I started to panic so I yelled and fought my way out before the handcuffs came on. I punched one guy in the nose and hit the other in the stomach to escape. It wasn’t just me being evacuated; it was the whole hundred of us. I ran to get away when they started to come after me but I saw a familiar face.  
One that looks extremely worried. It was my mother.  
I tried to ask her what was going on but she cut me off saying I had nothing to worry about; she started to go blurry as I started to become sleepy. The cops shot me with some type of drug.  
I remember faintly my mom saying I was going to the ground before I saw black. This couldn’t be happening. The ground isn’t safe, at least here I would have been reviewed, had a chance to live, now I will die for sure and people weren’t going to know the truth about the ark.  
Soon we will all be dead.

+

I was doing my usual routine of a semi workout in this small room when two cops came in telling me to face the back wall. I asked them what was going on but they didn’t answer. As they led me out the room, I see everyone is in handcuffs being escorted by cops; I look to my right and see a blonde girl slowly falling to the ground as a needle is escaping her neck. One of the cops nose is bleeding, possibly broken, and I couldn’t understand why she would have hit him to begin with.  
We are lead to this big room that I never knew existed. We were all given this silver bracelet; it had these needles in them that pricked us when it was put on. The doctor gave me the okay and went on to check the others.  
The blonde girl was in a gurney still asleep when they put hers on. I couldn’t help but admire how cute she looked while she was sleeping. I had Clarke in my Earth Skills class and would admire her since she sat across from me. We would exchange glances and I think the teacher caught on because he partnered us up on our project about salvaging things we needed if we were ever stranded.  
We were partners for a day before I got locked up.  
I came back to reality when they started to lead us through a series of hallways into a drop ship. The cops were directing us into different parts of the ship but one guard grabbed me by my arm and led me inside. He seemed familiar but I couldn’t see his face, it was covered by a cap. He led me upstairs and stayed with us making sure everyone was buckled in. He stayed in there when they shut the doors and strapped in. Maybe more cops were downstairs to help protect us?  
The ship deployed and that’s when I saw the fear in everyone’s face, I’d seen a couple of them in classes but never actually talked to them. The chancellor came on the screen giving us some bullshit speech on how “important” we are to the ark and the survival of our people.  
Please.  
You chose us because we’re expendable under the eyes of “our people”.  
The ship started to shake and the lights were flashing, the chancellor was cut off and people started to scream, I was holding onto my belt making my knuckles white and holding my breathe. This was it, we’re entered the atmosphere and are about to land on Earth, it was a hard landing but once we knew we were safe the cop undid his seat belt and went down the stairs, everyone did the same thing.  
I was the last to undo my belt and went down the stairs when I heard arguing.  
2 boys were dead and Clarke was yelling at the cop to not open the door, we didn’t know if the air was breathable.  
Bellamy? He wasn’t a cop, why was he here?  
Octavia came in shortly hugging him asking him the same question I was thinking. Clarke was still telling him we should wait and make contact with the ark first. The chancellor’s son, Wells, agreed with her, Clarke rolled her eyes. Wait. Why is here too?  
Bellamy said we were going to die anyway if we did wait; he was headed towards the latch when I spoke up. “Why don’t we wait to see if we hear something outside?” everyone’s eyes were on me, “I mean if we are going to die anyway we should see if something is outside waiting for us. That was a hard landing and this thing is huge, something might be outside waiting.” Everyone agreed and we waited about 5 minutes before Bellamy got impatient and decided to open the doors.  
Everyone was standing completely still when he opened the door. Octavia was the first one out and then everyone ran out yelling in joy.  
Everything was so…. green.  
The air smelled…. absolutely amazing.  
Everything about this was amazing.  
Clarke was the last one out with Wells trailing her. She looked beautiful embracing what Earth had to offer us. She noticed me starring and started walking towards me.  
Oh shit.  
“Hey! Thanks for speaking up in there, at least someone has some common sense around here...” she let out a small giggle, oh that sound was so enchanting; “…it’s Lexa right? I remember you from Earth Skills.”  
She started to look at me weird. Oh shit I should respond.  
“No problem, yeah we were partners for about a day ha-ha” I couldn’t hold my nervous laugh. Gosh why does she make me feel this way? No. I can’t. Not after what happened with Costia. She nodded and walked away right after that.  
Damn did I do something wrong?

+

What am I doing? Why am I even trying? She won’t be into me. My mom’s in the council who decided to send us down here. She won’t ever forgive me for what my mom did to us. Ugh! She did seem a little nervous didn’t she? I mean we would exchange glances in class and passing periods and I would see her blush when she saw me catch her but I don’t know, she didn’t respond for a long time. Maybe she was contemplating to yell at me and to never talk to her again.  
Fuck my life.  
Walking away maybe would have feed the fire a bit more. Ugh, I’ll have to deal with that later. Now I need to see where Mount Weather was at to get the supplies so we can live. I had a map in my pocket which I assume mom gave to me.  
Holy shit. They dropped us on the wrong fucking mountain!  
This is about a two day trip. I have to let the others know and get us over there. Bellamy of course being the total douche canoe he is said that the rest would stay there while I go and get the supplies. I’m one person.  
How is that smart at all?  
He sent a couple others with me. Jasper, Monty, Finn, Octavia, well she came on her own despite what Bellamy wanted, and Lexa. Oh great. I guess I’ll have to deal with this now.  
We hiked for about 4 hours just in awe of the forest. Everything was just how I imagined it to be.  
No.  
It was better than what I imagined.  
We would all get distracted and just marvel at what nature had to offer. Monty and Jasper kept to themselves really. Jasper kept eyeing Lexa and Octavia walking with each other, not whispering but I couldn’t make what they were saying either.  
Not that I care of course.  
Finn was the first to call us all over when he saw a deer. It was so beautiful, just eating, being one with nature. He tried to get a closer look when a branch broke under his foot and the deer looked up and had TWO HEADS?! OH MY GOSH! That was not in the books I read about!  
We all started to walk again in a bit of silence for a while before Finn started to question the ark on their decision to send us down today.  
They couldn’t know. Not yet.  
Before he could hype up the others I asked if they heard the water. Jasper was the first to start running towards the source of the noise and I was the last, thankful no one caught what Finn had said.  
Hopefully.  
When we got to the river, Octavia decided to strip and jump in for a swim and may I say….. Woah….  
Lexa was staring at her with a blank expression that I couldn’t make out. She was starting to take off her shirt. OMG…  
“Octavia get out of the water!” Jasper yelled in panic.  
What?  
I soon saw this huge snake thing take her under. We all pushed this huge rock into the other side of the water. It let go of Octavia and Jasper jumped in after her and got her out in time before it came back. I ripped part of Jaspers shirt off to tie up her leg where she was bitten.  
She was going to be fine but she will be limping for a couple of days. We were too far to take her back so we made camp there for the night.  
Jasper and Monty went to go get fire wood while Finn and Lexa went to go look for food.  
“How’s your leg feeling?” Octavia said it hurt like a bitch but she’s glad Jasper had enough courage to go in after her unlike Finn. She had told me that “Finn was hers and that I shouldn’t be getting any ideas with him.” I told her she had nothing to worry about but I couldn’t help but have a weird feeling when she said that.  
You can’t just claim someone.  
Can you?  
We didn’t talk much after that. I’m guessing she hates me too because of my mom. Soon Monty and Jasper came back with the firewood and Octavia got the fire going in no time. Finn and Lexa came back about 20 minutes later, laughing, I wonder if Octavia had the same conversation with Lexa as she did with me only a couple minutes ago?  
I don’t care.  
I made sure everyone had enough berries to last them till tomorrow. I got the reminders.  
Lexa wouldn’t allow it though. She watched and waited to see how much I had before she got up and gave me more and had less than what I initially had to begin with. She said she didn’t eat much and headed back to her original spot before I got to protest.  
Maybe she doesn’t hate me?  
No, she does. She’s keeping me alive because I’m the only one who knows how to get to Mount Weather.  
We all fell asleep soon after. Finn woke me up in the middle of the night. Oh my god, it was beautiful. The forest was… was… glowing.  
He took me over to some footsteps he believed to be monkeys. “That’s not possible. There aren’t any monkeys in this region.” He made a valid point on how there wasn’t supposed to be a man eating snake or a glow in the dark forest either. I didn’t say anything else about that topic afterward.  
We talked a lot about random facts that I read in books and where he learned how to track. I ended up falling asleep on his shoulder.  
The next day we all starting hiking again. We noticed the river was blocking our way and there was no way either one of us was going to get into the water. Finn found this vine to cross and Jasper went first. He held up a sign saying “Mount Weather 4 miles” on the other side, “Come on princess your turn to go” Finn said as he gave me the vine.  
I hate it when people call me that but I was in no position to complain.  
I was about to go when a spear hit Jasper in the chest. Lexa grabbed and pulled me behind the rocks holding me close to her side looking around for whoever threw the spear, never loosening her grip. How did she get to me so fast? Everyone else followed. I couldn’t help but feel a little bit safer when she held me.  
We’re not alone.


	2. I Can't Lose You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting Jasper back rose up a lot more questions than answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the swearing. I write like I talk haha. If it bugs you let me know and I'll try to take them out.

Everything was a blur as we ran through the forest back to the drop ship. I ran faster than I ever thought possible. Monty fell and that’s when we saw a ton of skeletons on the ground. They weren’t human. Their skulls had a bulge on top that would have resembled an orangutan. The body structure suggested it to be human. How is this possible?  
We heard Jasper scream and I was the first to run back to the river. Monty grabbed my arm before I left the cover of the bushes.

Jasper was gone. His body wasn’t there. Where did he go? Who took his body? Was it the people whose skeletons we just found?

There was nothing we could do at this point then to go get reinforcements and that’s what we did. Monty and Finn helped Octavia back as Lexa and I led.  
Once we got back to the drop ship Bellamy went straight to Octavia and asked us about “the kid with the goggles”. We told everyone what had happened and everyone got scared that people were watching us. Wells came from around the drop ship and he didn’t have his wrist band on. 

What the hell?! “Why did you take off your wrist band?!” he said nothing but looked at Bellamy and told me to ask him. He had taken off 24 others.  
I had to tell them now. They needed to know. 

“The ark’s life support is failing! There is only enough oxygen for three more months that’s why they sent us down here to see if the ground was survivable! If you take off those wrist bands you aren’t just killing them, you’re killing us!” 

Bellamy started to go on this rant about how we’re stronger than I think and that the grounders need to be scared of us. Everyone was cheering and agreeing with him.  
Idiots. 

I went inside the drop ship to try and grab things that we’d need to get Jasper back. Wells had a pretty impressive pack made from seat belts. He couldn’t come with us. I don’t want to be around him at all. I went down the ladder and I saw Lexa there. She asked when we were leaving to go get Jasper back. 

I couldn’t help but smile, “now, just need to gather a couple more people.” Lexa smiled back at me and nodded. 

Wow her smile was ravishing. 

Finn walked in and told us we were going on a suicide mission. I called him a coward and so did Monty. Jasper looked up to him, the space walker, and he was just going to leave him out there to die. He didn’t say anything and I walked past him shoving him in the shoulder while doing so. 

Monty wanted to come get his best friend but he’s too valuable to lose. He was raised on farm station and was recruited by engineering; he needs to find a way to communicate to the ark. I promised we’d bring back Jasper. He starred into my eyes and just nodded, realizing he could trust me. 

I proceed to go get Bellamy. He has a gun and we might need it. He brought Murphy with him, that psychopath. 

Whatever the more people, looking for Jasper, the better. 

Wells didn’t approve but I don’t take orders from him. I don’t take orders from anyone. 

Bellamy and Murphy we’re straggling behind whispering to each other. 

“Don’t worry, Clarke, its three to two, we can take them.” Lexa said winking at me. 

My stomach did flips at that. What is this girl doing to me? 

I smiled back at her. I was about to respond when Bellamy told us to slow down taking out his gun. “A spear to the heart is immediate death, what’s the rush?” Wells told him to put the gun away but Murphy pushed him out of the way. 

“Jasper screamed when they moved his body. If it were to strike his heart he would have died instantly, doesn’t mean we have time to waste.”  
Bellamy grabbed my wrist and told me to take off my wrist band. I moved my arm out of his grip, “The only way the ark will I’m dead is if I’m actually dead.”  
He got closer to me and Murphy got closer to Wells. Lexa got in between us pushing him away and telling him to back the fuck up. 

“What you have someone else fighting for you now princes?” walking closer to us. 

Lexa started to put her hands into fist when Finn came. Bellamy looked pissed; I don’t know what he would have done. He put away his gun at when Finn told me to walk with him.  
Thank god he came. I don’t know what Bellamy and Murphy would have done. 

Why did Lexa protect me, I thought she hated me because of my mom? I can’t help but admire her for doing that for me.

+

Why did I do that? Clarke must be more pissed at me know. I made her look weak in front of them. Why do I mess up everything? Why am I even thinking about this? Oh yeah. It’s because I can’t stop starring at her walking with Finn, seems like I’m not the only one though. 

I mean I knew Wells cared for her but I thought it was just because they were so close. Clarke hates him now and I think that’s making his love for her deepen.  
“Hey” I startled him and I couldn’t help but laugh “sorry, I just uhm, we need to keep an eye out for Bellamy and Murphy. I don’t like what happened back there and I feel like it’s going to happen again.”

Wells smiled and agreed he also thanked me for standing up to Bellamy when he couldn’t. He seemed a little bothered but grateful. 

“No problem. There’s just something about him that seems off. I mean why does he want our wrist bands off so much? He isn’t a criminal; we aren’t “his people”, despite what he says. I feel like he’s trying to do this for himself. I just don’t know why yet.” 

“Yeah, I get the same vibe. I didn’t want him to come which made Clarke all the more reason to invite him.” 

“I know it’s none of my business but why does she hate you so much? You guys were best friends, inseparable, you traded your stuff to get her art supplies.”  
“Long story short, it’s about her dad being floated.” 

I did not know that. 

We both look at Clarke and she was looking at us. She turned back to Finn and I couldn’t help but feel jealous. He’s better for her, maybe I should just back off. I mean I don’t even know if she’s gay. She’s never dated anyone before nor have I seen her have a thing with anyone. For all I know she might not even be attracted to anyone. 

“Why did you do it?” 

What? 

“Do what?” 

“Why did you steal all that stuff from the redistribution center? You stole from a lot of people who could have needed all those clothes and food.” 

Oh that. 

I was about to respond when Clarke and Finn called all of us over. Thank god. I’m not ready to talk about that yet. 

They found water! Yes, we’d been hiking for hours. We were there for a good thirty minutes when something shiny made me look up.

“Guys look!” I point to the rocks on the other side. There was Jaspers goggles and blood following through the forest. 

Finn led the way with Clarke close behind. I grabbed the goggles and put them in my pack. We hiked for a couple more hours when I started to believe Finn got us lost.  
We were walking on some sort of rocky trail but then he found more blood on some rocks and branches. He led us up the rocks back into the forest. It took us a couple more minutes when we heard Jasper moan and we darted towards the noise. Everyone stopped in their tracks when we saw him strung up in a tree without his shirt on. 

There was some green gunk on his chest that Clarke said looked like it was to stop the bleeding. 

“Why would they do that if they were going to hang him up?” 

“A warning” Finn said, “this is there land and we’re trespassing.” 

We started to walk towards Jasper when Clarke fell into a fit full of spikes at the bottom. Bellamy quickly caught her arm but he wasn’t pulling her up. I ran to grab her other arm to help. The rest joined and we got her up. Bellamy let go and stepped back. I was still holding on to Clarke’s waist and we were just sitting there for a while before she hugged me. 

Oh no, hopefully she doesn’t realize I’m blushing. 

Finn and Murphy went to go get Jasper and I helped Clarke up. I was still holding onto her when we heard a rustle in the bushes. She got closer and put her arm around my waist and another on top of my heart.

My grip on her tightened and if we weren’t scared at the moment I’m pretty sure I would have been hurting her. A panther came running out and Wells stole Bellamy’s gun and shot. It was fast and he missed a lot but he finally killed it and all the ammo was gone. 

I don’t know how long it had been but Clarke finally let go and so did I. Not going to lie I missed the contact and I can see it in her eyes as well.  
What am I doing? How am I going to give her up to Finn or Wells? 

I can’t.

Something about her makes me want to be her protector but Costia…. How am I going to get past what she did to me? 

It took us a while to cut him down and make a gurney to carry him back to camp but we finally made it back after dark and put him inside the drop ship. Monty thanked us and told us he’d take care of him so we can rest. 

I went outside to see Finn and Clarke starring at everyone taking off their wrist bands to get some food. Finn grabbed one piece of meat and Murphy asked him if he thought he was above the rules, Finn retorted “I thought there were no rules?” 

Murphy didn’t say anything and Finn walked away I went to grab one as well and Murphy grabbed my arm.  
I punched him in the face. 

“Don’t ever touch me again,” I looked at Clarke and nodded, “come on.” 

We went to go sit by Finn and I let Clarke take the first bite. We shared ours and Finn had his with Octavia.  
Bellamy was pissed at that. 

None of us talked, we were enjoying each other’s company. I couldn’t shake the feeling that we we’re being watched. 

Clarke grabbed my arm, “Hey don’t worry, there’s too many of us, it would be stupid of them to try something right now and they know it. We’ll worry about that another day okay?” her eyes had so much promise in them, I didn’t even realize I was looking around frantically till then. 

I only nodded and we talked a little in between bites after that. It was nothing really but it was everything at the same time. I couldn’t help but feel happy at that moment. 

This was going to hurt if it ended badly. 

Whatever “it” was.


	3. What are you doing to me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The episode where they get stuck in a car to get Jasper's medicine and things got awkward. I sorta skipped that part in a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed some inspiration I listened to these songs while I wrote their parts. You'll know when you read it.  
> City of Colour – The Girl (Clarke)  
> Queen – Somebody to love (Lexa)  
> M83 – Wait (Atom)  
> The lumineers – Slow it down (Clarke & Wells)

He’s dying and there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s been two days since we brought Jasper home and he’s not getting any better. I stepped out of the drop ship to get some fresh air. 

Most people were asleep already but a few were around the camp fire laughing, including Lexa. 

I couldn’t help but smile at her, she looked so beautiful. The fire, even in the dark, made her emerald eyes shine brighter. Her brown locks turned into a honey color. Her tan skin shone and her teeth were so white and straight and perfect. 

She looked over to me and smiled. My stomach did flips. 

I always knew I was attracted to girls the same way I was attracted to guys when I was younger but when I look at Lexa, things feel different. I don’t even know her well but yet I can’t help but feel right when I’m around her. It’s not awkward like it was around my past crushes. 

It doesn’t feel the same. 

We were looking at each other, smiling, for what seemed like a long time before I heard a girl scream. I ran towards her. She couldn’t be more than 12. She was having a nightmare. I woke her up and asked for her name. 

Charlotte. 

Lexa came and sat across from us. She told us about her nightmares and how the chancellor floated her parents, she has this same dream every night. She got locked up for assaulting an officer who tried to grab her parent’s belongings and take it to the redistribution center. 

Lexa scooted to her side and held her close. 

“You see that bright star up there? That’s the ark orbiting around us.” Charlotte and Lexa were both looking up. “I think we were sent down here to forget about all that pain and sadness; to have a second chance down here on the ground.” 

“Do you really believe that?” Charlotte beamed at me.

I looked at Lexa who was staring at me “I’m trying to.” 

Charlotte laid her head on Lexa’s chest and fell asleep. Lexa laid her head on top of Charlotte's and she seemed little then. She didn’t say anything the whole time I was talking to Charlotte. 

I never found out why she got locked up but this wasn’t the time to ask. 

I lay down on the ground next to them staring up at the stars. I wonder what’s going on up there. I wonder if my mom is okay. 

I woke up with Charlotte in my arms and Lexa was laying down too holding her hand. I couldn’t help but smile. I think this was the first night since her parent’s death that she had slept the whole night. She woke up soon after me, thanked us for staying with her, and left. 

I didn’t want to wake up Lexa but I didn’t want to leave her on the dirt alone. I woke her up and told her to go to her tent.  
She didn’t have one. 

She had been sleeping on the dirt for these past couple of days. I took her into the drop ship and let her sleep on my hammock. 

I went to go check on Jasper. Monty and Finn were there. I took off the green gunk on Jaspers chest. The cut was infected. Wells came in asking how he was doing. 

Seriously? 

I made him and Finn hold him while I try to cut off the infected pieces of skin. He started screaming, Octavia and Lexa came rushing in. 

“You’re killing him!” Octavia pushed my arm away.

“She’s trying to save him!” Monty yelled at her.

“His skin is infected and it could be septic. I have cut away the infected area or else he could die. Now hold him still.” 

Octavia and Lexa grabbed his shoulders while I took off the remainder of his skin. Bellamy came in and started calling him a lost cause. He gave me till tomorrow to figure out what was wrong with him or else he would kill him. 

There was this red stuff on the gunk that I couldn’t make out what it was. Finn and Wells came up to me. What was Finn doing with Wells? Wells grabbed the pink stuff and said it was seaweed and that it grew in water. Finn knew where to go but Wells had to come because he was the only one who knew what it looked like. 

Great. 

While we were walking out I saw Lexa leaving with Bellamy and a couple of others. Where is she going with Bellamy and his minions? 

“Lexa,” I ran toward her and she turned and smiled to see me, “hey! Where are you going with them?”

“She’s strong and knows how to handle a knife. She’s coming hunting with us. Is that a problem princess?” Bellamy smirked. 

“No, I was going to have her come with me to go get the medicine for Jasper, if it’s any of your business.” I retorted.

“Warriors don’t go looking for medicine. We hunt and Lexa is pretty good at it.” He smiled putting a hand on her shoulder. 

Don’t you touch her.

“Clarke, it’s okay. There are six of us. If any grounders try anything we’ll take them down. No one has eaten in three days. Plus, someone has to teach these dimwits how to hunt.” She smirked. 

But I don’t trust him. What if you get hurt? Oh god I can’t even think about that without making my stomach turn. 

I think she read my mind because she ended up saying, “Don’t worry Clarke, I’ll be careful, we’ll be back before dark, I promise.” She hugged me after that.

I swear everyone could hear my heart pounding. 

“Okay, I’ll see you tonight then.” She smiled and we nodded at each other before we turned around and went our separate ways. Finn and Wells were staring at me. 

“What?” 

“Since when have you and Woods been best buds?” Finn asked. 

“Since last night, that’s when.” I said with a little more aggression than I intended.

“I’d be careful around her, I heard she’s a player and steals.” Well said.

“What?” 

“Yeah, that’s why she got locked up. Well part of it. She stole from everyone but they could never prove anything until she stole a whole boat load from the redistribution center.” Finn added.

That was her? 

“So what does that have to do with me being friends with her?” I tried to play off.

“Hey all I’m saying is to watch your back around her. You can’t trust people like her.” Finn ended.

No. 

The Lexa I saw last night and the Lexa she has been showing me is different then what Finn and Wells are saying. There has to be an explanation for this.

+

“What was that back there?” Atom asked. 

“What was what?” I said confused. 

“You and princesses little encounter.” 

Oh. I don’t even know. She was genuinely worried about me. I mean who wouldn’t. I’m going alone in the forest with Bellamy and his minions who would kill me if he said so and there are the grounders too.

“Oh. That. Haha. Uhm. It is what it is.” I shrugged off with a nervous chuckle. 

“Hmm I just never pegged you to go after stiff over there.” 

“Hey! Don’t say that about her. She’s not like that. She’s just trying to keep us safe.” I snapped.

“Woah, okay I’m Sorry.” Putting up his arms and walking in another direction. 

Clarke isn’t stiff. 

The way she talks about things she loves is just admiring. You can’t help but smile when she talks about the things or people she cares about and when she laughs, it just damn near breaks your heart. 

God! Get your head in the game Lexa. I can’t let my guard down here deep in the forest and we need to find food. 

Clarke needs to eat. We all need to eat. 

About an hour later I found a hog and killed it. I hate killing animals for my benefit but I can’t think that way down here on the ground. I called everyone over and they started to cheer. We started to carry it back when this green fog started to come towards us. I reached out my hand to touch it and it burned me. 

That was smart. 

We all ran in different directions to get away. 

“Atom!” he turned around but the fog touched him and he screamed in pain. He looked me in the eyes and I knew he was going to leave me there. 

Bellamy came and grabbed the hog, we ran for cover in a cave. I tore off a piece of my shirt to wrap my hand around. 

Great looks like we’re going to be stuck in here for a while. 

No matter how much my hand hurt I couldn’t help but hope Clarke was okay. 

“She’ll be fine.”

What? 

“Don’t worry about princess, she’s smart and Finn is pretty good at navigating.” 

I must have looked worried. 

“Thanks. Octavia will be fine too.” I said and he nodded. 

Maybe he’s not so bad.

+

Finally. We found the river and grabbed the seaweed. 

A flock of bird came towards and I felt them rush past us. A horn went off in the distance.

“A warning cry?” Finn said.

“What the hell is that?!” Wells was pointing at this hug green tornado coming toward us. 

“Run! Run now!” 

We ran back to the car that Finn found on the way. We covered up the holes and Finn found a bottle of whisky that I took a shot of. 

I’m not going to go into detail about what happened in the car with Wells and me because it’s irrelevant and really doesn’t matter.

I did feel bad for Finn though, it must have been real awkward with us yelling at each other about his betrayal and how he turned in my father. Not even giving me a good excuse for it. 

We had to stay the night in the car and I couldn’t stop thinking about Lexa. 

I hope she made it back to the drop ship before the acid fog came. I hope she didn’t go out looking for us because we were taking too long. 

Oh god I need a drink. 

Morning came and the fog was gone. I tried to rush us back to camp but I had a massive headache. Finn took me aside and said I was too harsh on Wells last night. 

“Listen, he loves you, you know that right? All I’m saying is that whenever he tries to talk to you about anything he’s trying to make eye contact but anytime your dad comes up he can’t give you a straight answer and won’t even look at you. To me it seems like he’s hiding something. Are you sure he’s the one who turned in your father?” 

“He’s the only I told!” I retorted. 

“Yeah but was he the only one who knew?” 

What? No. It couldn’t be. Could it?

+

“Bellamy! Get up! It’s Atom!” Monroe woke us both up. 

We grabbed the hog and she led us to Atom. He was covered in these red blisters and his eyes were cloudy. 

It hurt him to breath and he begged us to kill him. 

“Take the hog and head back to camp!” Bellamy told us. 

“No I’m not leaving. Atom was a good friend of mine!” I cried. 

“Fine. You kill him and take away his pain then.” He handed me the knife and stared at me while I looked at the knife and back at Atom. 

Oh crap. I can’t do this. 

I felt a hand on mine; I looked up and saw Clarke. Thank god she was okay. Tears were building up in my eyes but I blinked them away before she could notice. 

She took the knife and started to stroke Atoms hair, humming. She plunge the knife into his throat and continued to sooth him. 

He stopped breathing. 

We built a gurney for him; Wells and Bellamy were holding it and Finn was carrying the hog. 

I was walking by Atom’s side holding his hand when Clarke came and grabbed my hand. She didn’t say anything nor did I want her too. Her just holding my hand gave me the comfort I needed to not break down right then and there. How can this one small gesture mean so much? We didn’t say anything all the way back but I can see Wells and Finn glancing our way from time to time. 

I don’t care. I just lost a really good friend of mine. 

Once we got to the drop ship it was already night. Clarke let go of my hand and told me she was going to go give the medicine to Jasper. I nodded. 

Octavia and came and Yelled at Bellamy to move. “Bellamy. I got this.” He nodded and moved aside, Octavia gave me a weird look while I moved toward her. I put my hands on her arms, “listen, there was nothing we could do. He was in bad shape and there was no way in helping him.” 

I was trying to hold back my tears. Octavia looked at the body and looked back at me, “he was a great friend and I know how much he meant to you and I’m sorry we couldn’t save him.” Octavia starting baling and hugged me. I held her for a while before she let go, thanked me and went into the drop ship. 

I composed myself while they started to cut up the hog and roast him. I got sick to my stomach and I knew I wasn’t going to eat that night. 

I went to go check on Jasper, when I got there he was awake and was smiling. He seemed better but he had a long way to go before he could walk again. 

+

“Wells, I know I don’t deserve it but can you tell me the truth?” 

He looked at me confused. 

“It was mother wasn’t it? She’s the one who turned my father in. I couldn’t believe it; I didn’t want to, blaming you seemed easier.” 

He stayed quite not making eye contact. 

“Please, Wells, I have to know.” I couldn’t fight my tears anymore and they came rushing down, betraying me. 

“I knew how it would make you feel. I was just trying to protect you.” 

“You let me hate you so I wouldn’t hate my mother. You let me say all those rude things to you. Oh god, I told you to go into the acid fog.” I started balling and Wells grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. 

“It’s okay. What are best friend for? I knew what you were doing and why you were doing it. I forgave you the moment you said it.” We stayed like this until I stopped crying, which was a long time. 

He went back to digging Atoms grave and I went to go check on Jasper. Good he’s awake. The tea worked. He thanked me for saving him and was saying hi to everyone.

“Oh, hello there.” He said drowsily.

I looked up and saw Lexa. She’s been crying. 

Octavia had his head on her lap. “I’m sorry about Atom” I told her. She got serious and said, “I guess we have to get used to people dying down here, huh?” 

She looked down at Jasper and I looked at Lexa who was looking back at me, “Except you, you’re not allowed to die.” She told Jasper. 

I kept eye contact with Lexa when I said, “I hope not.” She looked at me weird but then she gulped and she looked away. 

I think she was going to cry again. I'm sorry about Atom.

If this ended badly I don’t think I could get over it, whatever this was between Lexa and I. There’s something there. I know there is. The little things we do around each other. The way we look into each other’s eyes and can tell a whole story without saying one thing. I can’t be the only one feeling it. This isn’t a one sided thing. 

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to kill Atom, for Lexa, but I didn't know how to continue his story line. Get ready cause chapter 4 is going to be a long one.


	4. Decisions Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I couldn't update yesterday! My internet has been down since Tuesday! Hopefully you guys don't hate me by the end of this chapter. Enjoy!

He’s dead. How could this happen? It hasn’t even been 24 hours since I last talked to him. Stupid grounders. How could they do this to Wells? He was innocent. He was pure. He was my best friend.

“Who’s there?!” I grab my knife from my side and turn around to see Finn. Oh great. I can talk to someone about this now. Ever since we went looking for Jasper and he stopped Bellamy and whatever his plot was, we’ve gotten closer. 

“What are you doing out here all alone princess? It’s not safe out here. You should be behind the wall.”

Princess.

“Says the guy who spent the night wondering around the woods all by himself, again.”

“I’m reckless and irresponsible. Hey, I got you something.” He showed me a pencil!

“What? Where did you get this?” This is amazing.

“The art supply store.” What?

“You know when we were kids Wells used to get me pencils, pens, anything I can draw with really. I later found out he was trading his own stuff for it. He didn’t want me to know that either… He let me hate him so that I wouldn’t hate my mother.”

“I know.” he looked sympathetic. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look like that before.

“My mother killed my father... I just wish there was something I can do to tell her that I know; to make her feel what I’m feeling…” Bingo.

“Where are you going?”

“To make her feel it.” I said walking to the drop ship.

I see Monty still working on the wires. “Hey Monty, do you still need a wrist band?”

“Of course! So far I can’t keep them to stay on but I think I might have found a way.”

“You can use mine.” 

“Clarke, if I take it off the ark will think your dead. Your mother will think you’re dead.” I understand his concern but I need to do this. She needs to feel what I felt, what I’m feeling.

“That’s fine. My mom thinking I’m dead will motivate her to try harder to get our people down here.” Lies.

“Okay then, come here. This might hurt a little.” He takes out this long silver metal dart. Did he make that? OWE! Fuck that hurt!

“I did it! It’s still operational!” Great. By now my mother will think I’m dead. By now she’s feeling what I’m feeling. Finn was staring at me. “What? Monty needed a working wrist band.”

“And you needed to punish your mother.” Ugh.

“Listen, the ark is running out of air and time, my mother thinking I’m dead is only temporary.” Hopefully not.

“Not if I can’t patch into the drop ships main frame. I can do it. We’ll be talking to the ark by nightfall.” No Monty. Postpone it just a little longer. I left at that. The wall has come a long way since last night. I don’t think anyone has slept since we found out the grounders killed Wells. Dammit. Don’t cry again, Clarke, Wells wouldn’t want that.

I look over and see Lexa in a tank top carrying a tree with Monroe. Wow. I never noticed her biceps before, her veins are popping out and she’s a bit sweaty. Clarke, stop biting your lip! I can’t stop staring. Oh my god, she saw me! Agh walk away Clarke! Did she just smirk? Fuck! Walk away Clarke, make busy!

I walk over to where Charlotte was at. She’s tying a couple of trees together with rope from the drop ship. Okay, I can help her with that. She showed me how hard to pull the rope between each crevasse. I was finishing up one when I heard someone call my name. I turn around to see Lexa. I turn back to try and hide my red face. 

Hopefully she didn’t see me staring at her earlier or at least have the decency to not bring it up.

“Clarke! Hey!” I turn around again after tying the rope and maybe taking a deep breath as well?

“Hey Lexa, sorry I wanted to tie these together before it got loose.” I play off.

“Haha it’s cool, hey uhm why were you looking at me earlier? I was going to ask you what’s up but you walked away before I got to.”

Oh shit. Think Clarke and think fast. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FOCUS WHEN SHE’S STILL SWEATY?!

“Earlier? Oh yeah! I was looking at the progress of the wall. You happened to look at me when I was starting to glance your way.” Nailed it!

“Oh… I guess that makes sense ha-ha.” She chuckled nervously putting her hand behind her head. Her muscles are popping out more when she’s doing that. Look away Clarke! Why is she smirking again?!

“Hey Charlotte can you give us a second please” Why is Lexa asking her to leave and why did Charlotte smirk at me before walking away? Lexa looks nervous. What’s going on?

“Clarke… uhm… later on today do you think… well… would you like to go star gazing… with me?” She was staring at the ground the whole time.

YES!!

“I know this tree inside the camp that has a really good view of the stars. We could get some berries or something and go up there if you like?” Lexa was looking at me now, there’s hope in her eyes but she’s still nervous. 

I was going to respond when Octavia and Jasper came running up to us saying she needs to talk to Bellamy and me a.s.a.p. They walked off and I look at Lexa. 

“Come on, we might need you too. Oh and yes I would love to go star gazing with you tonight.” I grabbed her hand and her face went blank. 

Was she blushing?

We went to Bellamy’s tent where they were waiting. A knife was on the table in front of them. I picked up the knife and examined it. “This knife was made of mental from the drop ship.”

“What do you mean?” Jasper asked.

“Who else knows about this?” Bellamy asked.

“No one, we brought it straight here.” Octavia answered.

“It means the grounders didn’t kill Wells. It was one of us.” Who could have done this?

“There’s a murder in this camp?” Jasper looked worried.

“There’s more than one murder in this camp. This isn’t news. We need to keep this quite.” How can Bellamy say that? Oh no. I look at Lexa and looked back at the knife and I started walking towards the entrance of his tent when Bellamy got in front of me, “get out of my way Bellamy.”

“Clarke be smart about this. Look at what we have achieved. The wall, the patrol; like it or not, thinking the grounders killed Wells is good for us.”

“Oh good for you, you mean. What keep people afraid and they’ll work for you?”

“Yeah that’s it. Building that wall is good for us and besides what are you going to do? Go out there and ask the murder to step up? We don’t even know whose knife that is?”

“Oh really? J.M. John Murphy. The people have a right to know.” At that I walk out and head straight to Murphy. “You son of a bitch!” I say as I push him. 

“Woah what’s your problem princess? Hey that’s my knife. Where did you find it?” He tried to grab it but I pushed his hand away. 

“Right where you dropped it, after you killed Wells.”

“What? I didn’t kill Wells? The grounders killed him. Not me.” He was looking around. We were drawing a crowd. Good, they’ll help me with his punishment.

“I know what you did and you’re going to pay for it. You threatened to kill Wells, we all heard you. You hated him!”

“A lot of people hated Wells; his father was the chancellor, who sent us down here!”

“You got into a knife fight with him!”

“Yeah and I didn’t kill him then either. Listen princess, I’m not a murder and I didn’t kill Wells!”

“He tried to kill Jasper too!” Octavia added.

“Come on this is ridiculous. I didn’t kill anyone and I don’t have to answer to you. I don’t have to answer to anyone!” 

“Come again?” Bellamy looked mad.

“Bellamy, come one man, you know I didn’t kill him.”

“We found your knife on the ground next to his fingers. What do you expect me to think?”

“Is this the kind of society we want to live in? You say there should be no rules. Does that mean that we can kill anyone without punishment?” I say as the crowded agreed.

“I say we float him!” One guy says and everyone else starts to cheer. 

“No. That’s not what I meant.”

“Why not? He’s a murder. He deserves it. It’s justice!” He yells at me.

“Revenge isn’t justice!” I yell back at him. 

The whole crowd starts to chant “Float him!” I look over at Murphy and he tried to make a break for it but someone tripped him and a couple people started to beat him up.

“No! Stop it! You’re killing him!” They wouldn’t listen to me. Lexa tried to help me pull them off of him but they already had him tied up and started heading to the unfinished part of the wall. They throw him to the ground before they tie a noose around his neck and throw it over a branch. The crowd was cheering all around us.

“Bellamy stop this! They’ll listen to you! I saw you in the woods with Atom. I know you’re not a killer! Make this stop!” I was yelling at him but he wasn’t responding. He had a blank face. The crowd started cheering Bellamy’s name to push the chair from underneath Murphy. 

He moved me aside and kicked it. Everyone went crazy. He then turned to me and pushed me, saying it’s my fault, that if I would have kept my mouth shut none of this would have happened.

Finn came and told Charlotte to run. He grabbed his knife and tried to cut the rope but a guy punched him in the stomach. 

“Stop it!” Charlotte? “Murphy didn’t kill Wells okay? I did.” Oh my god. Lexa grabbed her knife and threw it at the rope cutting it with ease. 

She went to Murphy and loosed up the rope around his neck and took the gag out. He breathed in a long sharp breath and started coughing. 

What just happened?

We took her to Bellamy’s tent, “Why did you do it Charlotte?” Bellamy asked. I couldn’t even look at her.

“I had to slay my demons like you said to. In my dreams I kept seeing the chancellor float my parents and I’d wake up and see his face. The nightmare never ended!” She was crying now. 

“What the hell is she talking about Bellamy?” I asked.

“She misunderstood me. Charlotte that’s not what I meant.” Murphy was outside demanding for her head. “If you guys have any ideas now would be the time to talk.” We stayed quite. I couldn’t think of anything, I was still in shock that Charlotte would do something like this. “Now you guys are quite?!”

“Hey! Those are your boys out there!” Lexa yelled back.

“This is not my fault! If princess would have kept her mouth shut those idiots would still be building the wall!” Murphy called out again. Bellamy moved over to Charlotte. “If anything happens you stay with them okay?”

Bellamy went outside and told Murphy that this was over. Lexa went over to Charlotte and started to talk to her. I looked at Finn and we both knew what we had to do.

Once we heard Murphy call everyone assholes for wanting him dead and not Charlotte, who was the real killer, the five of us snuck out the back of the tent and went running straight into the woods. 

Murphy yelled saying he’ll find us and he won’t stop till he gets her and pays for what she has done. We ran for about an hour when we stopped. No one had water. Charlotte tried to grab my hand.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I moved my hand away instantly. She didn’t say anything but she looked so little at that. “Just because we saved you doesn’t mean you’re forgiven, got it?”

“Clarke,” Lexa moved toward me, “she’s just a kid.” 

“No, Lexa, she’s a killer.” I looked back at Charlotte. “You’re a killed someone, Charlotte. You ended Wells life, do you realize that? Did you even stop to think about that?” She looked to the ground and started crying. “Look at me! You can’t just kill someone to make yourself feel better!”

“Clarke.” I looked up to see Finn giving me a stern face. What? Am I the bad guy now?

“Charlotte!” Murphy was close. How did he find us?

“We need to start running again.” I said defeated. 

“We could do that, but I like my plan better.” Finn smiled at me and opened a hatch underneath him. What is that? Charlotte went down first then I then Lexa. Finn closed the hatch behind him. Lexa and I turned on our flashlights.

“Finn, what is this place?” It seemed like a bunker of some sort.

He turned on his light, “for now, its home.” He smiled at us.

Lexa found a drawer full of candles and matches. She lite them all and placed them all around the bunker. 

We’ll be safe here. 

Charlotte got tired and went to the bed. Lexa crawled in there with her and held her close. She was whispering to her. I couldn’t make out what she was saying. I didn’t realize how close they were. This must be hard on the both of them.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell anyone about this place.” I murmured to Finn.

“Why? There’s no weapons, no equipment, and all the food expired like 90 years ago.”

“Yeah but we can repurpose, share with the group?”

“You can share this with the group, if you like.” He held out a jar full of pencils, pens, and colored pencils. I grabbed them and started to see if they were still good. They were. Yes! We moved over to the couch and I saw a picture of a placed called Florida. “I’m guessing the bombs took them by surprise, all this preparation, what a waste.” Finn said to me.

“I don’t know maybe they were lucky. They couldn’t have lasted more than a few years down here. Maybe when they started to run out food or lost their minds they opened the doors and would have been dead within a few days. Back then maybe sooner.” I looked over at Lexa and Charlotte. They were both sleeping. She looked cute then, holding Charlotte, protecting her. “Anyway, what are we going to do about her?”

I set the picture down not realizing I was crumbling it. “If I didn’t say anything none of this would have happened.”

“How would you know it would have gone down like that?” He was trying to comfort me.

“Bellamy knew. We think the grounders are a threat and now we’re killing each other.” I looked at Finn then.

“We can’t just hang people either. Hopefully we figure something out before Murphy kills us for helping her. He’s not the forgive and forget type.” We moved onto a different subject, like how we found this place. He said he was wondering around and stumbled upon it. 

Sometime between then and now I feel asleep on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around me. I woke up about an hour later and I couldn’t help but smile when I saw how we were sleeping. 

I look over and Lexa was still asleep. 

ALONE! 

“Guys! Wake up!” I yelled at them and they both woke up startled. Lexa looked over and realized Charlotte wasn’t there. “She left! We need to go after her before Murphy finds her!” Lexa rushed out of bed and put on her shoes. The hatch was open and Finn led the way following the muddy footsteps.

Thank god his father taught him how to track before he died.

We stopped when we saw that there were more than her footsteps. We heard Charlotte call Murphy’s name and Lexa darted toward the sound. We followed. Lexa was fast.

When we got there Bellamy had Charlotte behind him against the ledge. He had threatened to kill them before they got to Charlotte.

“Bellamy stop!” He looked over at me and saw the rest. He looked relived. “This has gone too far Murphy. Let’s talk about this.” He was fast. He grabbed me and held a knife to my throat. 

“I’m sick and tired of listening to you talk, princess.”

“Let her go!” Finn tried to move his hand but Murphy pushed him away and held the knife tighter against my throat. Owe! He cut me!

“Please! Don’t hurt her! You want me, not her. Just let her go!” Charlotte what are you doing? He’s going to kill you!

“Okay, you come here first and I’ll let her go.”

“Charlotte don’t do it!” I yelled at her.

She rushed past Bellamy but Lexa caught her before she got to close to Murphy. “No, I have to! He’s going to hurt her!” She got out of Lexa’s grip and stepped back. “I can’t let you guys keep getting hurt because of me. Not after what I did… I’m sorry Lexa.” At that she turned around and jumped off the cliff.

“Charlotte!” Lexa yelled as Bellamy tried to grab her but was too late. “No! No! No! Charlotte!” Lexa cried out. Bellamy put his hand around her and held her close. Murphy finally let me go. 

I went over to the ledge and looked at Lexa. She was crying. I put my arm around her and Bellamy looked at me in anger and hatred. He stood up and tackled Murphy. He was going to kill him. I looked over my shoulder and Finn pulled him off.

“Get off me! He deserves to die!” Bellamy pushed Finn off and started heading toward Murphy again. I stood up and got in between them.

“No! We don’t decide who lives and who dies! Not down here!”

“Do not tell me that the people have the right to decide!”

“No! I was wrong then and you were right! Sometimes it’s dangerous for people to know the truth! But if we’re going to survive down here, we need rules. No more whatever the hell we want!”

“And who’s going to make the rules? You?”

“For now we’ll both make the rules. Okay?” 

“So what then? We take him back and pretend this never happened?!” He barked at me.

“No…” I turn to look at him he was still on the ground bleeding. Finn was with Lexa and the other four were just staring at us. “… We’ll banish him.”

Bellamy grabbed him and brought him to the edge. 

Bellamy!

“If I ever catch you near camp, we’ll be back here, got it!” Murphy nodded and Bellamy threw him to the ground. “As for the four of you! You can either come back with us and follow me or stay with him and die! You’re choice!” 

Bellamy walked away and the four followed him. Finn dropped Murphy’s knife next to him and I went to grab Lexa. We headed back to camp.

+

Two people in three days, that’s all it took.

First, Atom and now Charlotte. I guess we are going to have to get use to people dying down here. I look over at Clarke. She was holding onto me while we walked back to camp. 

I can’t lose you. 

Oh god, just thinking about you dying makes me cry even harder. She must have felt that because her grip on me tightened. No one said anything on our way back. 

“I’m sorry; I knew how much she meant to you.” Clarke was looking at me. I gave her a small smile and she looked away rubbing my arm. It was a little cold and the rain wasn’t helping one bit.

We got there pretty fast. I didn’t realize how fast we were walking. 

When we got there I headed straight for the drop ship. The rest gathered around Clarke and Bellamy who told them what had happened with Murphy.

Clarke and Finn came inside and Monty had her wrist band on a stand with a long metal stick that looked like a dart. 

“Okay. It’s ready.” He said.

“Will we be able to talk to them?” Clarke asked.

“Not exactly, it’ll be more like mores code. Do you want to do the honors?” He looked over at Jasper. He got excited and went over to the wrist band. I looked over at Finn and he looked a bit more nervous and excited then the rest of us. He kept fidgeting with his fingers.

I look back over at Jasper and he put the stick inside the wrist band. A spark shut it off and OWE! My wrist band stung me. The rest looked at their wrist where the band was at and I knew it had shocked them too.

Clarke looked at us confused and worried, “what happened?”

“I think we may have fried all the wrist bands.” 

Fuck.

Finn looked devastated and mad. He stormed out of the drop ship. Clarke grabbed her bag and started going after him. Before she moved the cloth she stopped and turned around to look at me. 

She moved her head back toward where Finn exited and looked back at me in an apologetic face. I knew where Finn was going and what would happen when she got there.

I gave her a nod and she gave me a small smile before leaving.

Well I guess we’re not going to go star gazing.

I went up to where we had Jasper and slept where he slept. It was still raining out and I didn’t want to sleep in that. I started to think about Atom and Charlotte. 

They’re dead. 

I wish I could just wake up and that this was all a dream. I wish Atom was still here and Charlotte. 

They kept me sane down here. 

I had met Atom in middle school when we he wanted to kick my ass for kissing his girlfriend. I had told him that I didn’t know and to break up with her for cheating on him. 

Little did I know that a friendship was to come from that. 

He was there for me when my parents were floated and he was there when I found out about Costia. I cried to him for months on end when that happened.

Then there was Charlotte. I saw myself in her. The way she handled herself, the way she acted when the guards came to take her parents things. I acted out in the same way. I didn’t get caught when I tried to steal back my parents’ things back. I talked to her about Clarke, she’s the one who showed me the tree and to ask Clarke to go with me. Charlotte was like a little sister to me and I let her down. I couldn’t save her nor could I save Atom. 

I curled up into a ball under the blankets and balled my eye out. I couldn’t help but think about Clarke and what her and Finn where doing right now. I cried even harder at that.

No! Stop it Lexa! You have to let her go. She made her choice, now you have to live with it. You have to be there as her friend. That’s what she needs. She lost someone too.

“Lexa?”

I look over my shoulder to see Monroe. Oh crap, I didn’t want her to see me cry. 

“Hey, are you okay? Well I mean do you need someone to stay with you? I saw Clarke leave after Finn, thought you might want someone to talk to.”

I chuckled a bit. “Uhm, not to talk, but… can you stay with me tonight?”

“Sure, whatever you need Lexa.” She came in and closed the hatch behind her. I opened the blankets up and I cuddled up to her, nuzzling her neck and she put her arm around me. It didn’t feel awkward, nor did she make it awkward. She knew what I was going through. 

Her father got floated when she was 8 and her mom became a drunk, blaming her for his death. She raised herself basically. 

She looked for comfort through her friends but none of them knew what she was going through and they were so young. Teachers and peers tried to help but when it comes from strangers, it doesn’t feel the same.

“Thank you for staying with me, you didn’t have to do this.”

“It’s okay Lexa. Just try and sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.” She kissed my head and started humming. It was soothing, I remembered Clarke going after Finn. That hurt way more than I thought it would.

Getting over her is going to be hard and it’s going to hurt seeing her with Finn, oh god. 

I need to keep myself distracted.

I look up at Monroe and kiss her. She kissed me back cupping my face. Wow, she’s a really good kisser. Once we broke free she looked into my eyes and I could see the longing. I kissed her again more aggressively. 

Can I do this to her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me! I have some pretty good ideas for chapter 5! :D


	5. Well Fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to update. I've been real busy in this month. Hope you guys enjoy!

“Finn... We can’t do this…. I never… We just met. I don’t know much about you… We should take things slow and get to know each other first…” He stopped kissing my neck and looked up at me, he was crying. He was panting heavy and looked away. He wasn’t here. His mind was elsewhere and I can tell he was happy I stopped this before things got worse. He rolled over to his back and I got up and leaned on my arm staring at him. “Hey, are you okay?” he just looked at me. He’s still gone. He gave me a little smile and nod and pulled me close to his chest and just held me there. It felt weird then, naked, lying on top of him. I got up and put on my bra and pants, he did the same. We laid back down and just talked for a while. I looked at my watch, it was almost dawn. 

 

“Come on. There’s somewhere I want to take you.” He got up and reached his hand toward me. We left the bunker and he took me to this big rock that we sat down on. He put his jacket over me and I laid my head on his shoulder. The sun was going to come up soon. “I’m glad you stopped it.” I looked up at him, “What was going to happen in there. I’m glad you stopped it. I didn’t want my first time to happen like that nor did I want yours to be either and I’m so sorry for letting it get that far. I should have asked instead of just rushing for it.” He stopped talking and looked down. 

 

“It’s okay, I understand. Your emotions we’re running high. As were mine. We just lost all hope of contacting the ark and then there was Charlotte… I get why we flocked to each other. We just lost a lot in one day and we just cracked.” He looked back up at me. He was leaning in for a kiss when a bright light caught our eyes.

 

“It’s a shooting star! Make a wish, Clarke! I read that back then that’s what people would do.” His smile was so big.

 

“Why would I make a wish on a burning meteor? Why would that make my wish come true?”

 

“Romance killer.” He rolled his eyes and looked back up.

 

“Finn, that’s not a meteor, that’s a space pod!” A parachute came out and it slowed a little before it crashed. “We need to go after it before the grounders get to it! We need to head back to camp to get reinforcements, it’s still dark out and the grounders will want to get to it as well.” We got up and ran back to the drop ship; everyone was up and getting ready to go.

 

“No! No one is leaving until first light! It’s still dark and dangerous to leave.”

 

“Bell, grounders from a hundred miles from here saw that thing! We need to get to it before they do!” There you go Octavia.

 

“I said no!” With that Bellamy went back inside his tent with two other girls. I start heading toward the drop ship when Lexa came out putting on her shirt with Monroe following behind putting on her jacket.

 

I stopped walking. No... It couldn’t be.... I didn’t even know they were that close.

 

Something in my stomach turned and I couldn’t help but feel sad. I walk back over to where we keep our armory to grab a knife for Finn and me.

 

I can’t feel this way. I left with Finn and was doing the same thing with him that Lexa was doing, maybe even less than what she and Monroe were doing. I’m being a hypocrite. If she’s happy with her than so be it.

 

“Clarke!”

 

Lexa.

 

“Clarke! Hey! What’s going on? I heard a crash and everyone’s talking about some pod.”

 

“Uhm, yeah the ark sent a pod down. It’s most likely full of first aid and food. Bellamy wants to wait till first light but we’re going to go get it now. The grounders are probably almost there, we can’t let them get to it first.” I can’t even look at her.

 

“We?”

 

“Yes. Finn and myself.” I grab the knives and look up at her. That hurt her. What I just said… Her face gave it away but why? She has Monroe now.

 

“Oh… but like what Bellamy said, it isn’t safe to leave camp right now…” She was looking at her feet.

 

“Well I’ll be with Finn. He’ll take care of me.” With that I left and headed to find Finn. That’s the first time I spoke to her like that. It didn’t feel right. Maybe I should go back. Ugh, no. The sooner we get to that pod the better. Finn was gone. I can’t find him anywhere. I ask around and no one has seen him.

 

“Clarke! Bellamy’s gone and so is his gear.”

 

“Finn we need to leave now! Whatever is in that pod he wants it. God I should have known he would have gone alone.” I gave him a knife and start leaving the camp. “He spent the whole time trying to make sure the ark didn’t think we were alive. We should’ve gone to the pod first, I let myself get distracted. No more of that.”

 

“It should be by the lake. We need to hurry if we want to get there before Bellamy.” We start running after that. The lake is farther than I remember it being. The sun was already up when we finally got there. “We should split up. We’ll cover more ground that way. Yell if anything okay?”

 

I nod and we head our separate ways. It didn’t take long before I found the small escape pod. “Finn, I found it! Come here quick!” I ran to the pod and opened it. Woah, there’s a girl in it. She’s awake. Her hair is black and in a ponytail, she has really smooth tan skin and her forehead is bleeding. It doesn’t look to serious but she’s going to have a headache for a couple of days. “Hey, you’re okay; let me help you get out.” She nodded and somehow I managed to get her out.

 

“I made it?” She has the biggest smile and starts soaking everything in, “I dreamed it would smell like this. Oh my god is this rain?!”

 

“Welcome to the ground.” I say smiling back at her.

 

“Raven!” We both look over and see Finn running towards us. 

 

“Finn!”

 

They meet up and there holding each other close.

 

What’s going on?

 

They’re kissing! Oh my god, what have I done? I was falling for someone who has a girlfriend. The world just came crumbling around me. How could this have happened? How could this be happening right now after what almost happened last night?

 

Finn sat her down on a rock and puts his jacket over her. I grab out a piece of cloth from the pack in her pod and give it to Finn when he reaches me.

 

“We should talk about this.”

 

“There’s nothing to talk about. You have a girlfriend. End of story. You need to put pressure on her wound.” I walk past him and head towards Raven, I guess her name is.

 

Finn gave her the cloth and she put it to her head. “Listen, Raven, I know you just got here but I need to know what you brought with you in the pod.”

 

“Nothing. Abby only sent me down oh and the Radio!” She got up and ran towards the pod looking inside, “Shit! It’s gone! It must have fallen out during reentry! I should have strapped it with me, stupid!” 

 

“No, Raven this is my fault. Someone got here before us and cut the cords off.”

 

“Well we need to find them fast otherwise 300 people are going to die tonight.”

 

“What do you mean?!” 

 

Mom.

 

“The ark’s oxygen is failing faster than expected. Before I left the council was deciding who they were going sacrifice in order to save air. I would have come here with Abby but something happened. I don’t remember.”

 

“My mom?”

 

“Clarke? All of this happened because she refused to think you were dead and she was right haha.”

 

I turn towards Finn and he looks at me, “We need to find him and we need to find him now!”

 

“I saw footsteps earlier. That’s probably him.” Finn was the first to take off and then Raven. I stood there for a while before taking off. I’m so fucked. It didn’t take us long before we found him. 

 

“Bellamy! Where’s the radio?!” I yelled at him grabbing his arm.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about princess.” Raven stopped in her tracks.

 

“Wait. Bellamy Blake?” He looked at her, “They’re looking everywhere for you.”

 

“Shut up!” 

 

“Why are they looking for him? What he do?” I look back over to Bellamy.

 

“He shot Chancellor Jaha.” 

 

Of course.

 

“That’s why you wanted the wristbands off so much. All that ‘Whatever the hell we want’ crap. That wasn’t for us. That was just you trying to save your own skin.” Finn got closer to him.

 

“The chancellor being dead is better for everyone.” 

 

“He isn’t dead you idiot. You’re a lousy shot.”

 

“See Bellamy you’re innocent. Everything you do is to protect your sister, you’re not a bad person, just tell us where the radio is. 300 people are depending on knowing if we’re alive or not.”

 

“It’s at the bottom of the lake.”

 

“Finn take him and Raven to the lake, I’ll head back to camp and get people to help us look.” It took a little bit of arguing but we finally decided that he was going to go back and he’ll find us faster.

 

He took us to the spot where he threw it which thank god was closer to the drop ship. He tells us the general directions of where he threw it and we start looking. A couple moments after that Finn called out for us and we yelled at him back. A lot of people were with him, including Lexa and Monroe, the more the merrier right?

 

We were looking for over an hour when finally John found it. Raven ran up to him and grabbed it from his hands and everyone started to gather around her. Except Lexa, she stayed a little behind with Monroe.

 

“Is it broken?” I asked once I reached her.

 

“I don’t know. It’ll take forever for the parts to dry and for me to figure out what isn’t broken. This is all your fault!” she shoved Bellamy; “If you wouldn’t have stolen my radio and thrashed it then we would be communicating with the Ark by now! 300 innocent lives are doing to die tonight because of you!” 

 

“Hey! I helped you find it! I did my job!”

 

“Okay guys calm down. Yelling isn’t going to solve anything. There has to be another way to communicate with them. We’ll ask Monty how things are going when we get back.”

 

“Wait, we don’t have to contact the radio. We just have to let them know that’s we’re here right?” Raven was smiling at me. What are you getting at?

 

“Yeah but how are we going to do that?”

 

“Hahaha come on we have a lot of work to do.” We head back to her pod and Raven gets out her tool bag from inside. “We need to take off the thrusters carefully. We’re going to make some rockets.”

 

Not even going to lie Raven is pretty hot when she’s demanding people around. Ewe what am I even saying. I shouldn’t be thinking about her like that.

 

“Clarke! Can you give me a hand over here please?”

 

Fuck.

 

“Yeah. What’s up?”

 

“I need you to unscrew these bolts here but be careful, rocket fuel likes to go boom.” Her smirking is a little unnecessary but totally welcome. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, it’s just… how do you know they’ll see it up there?”

 

“It’s all about burn time baby. From the fuel in these thrusters I’ll put them in small little pods that’ll launch high and far and there will be reddish smoke coming from the back that’ll show for miles away. Listen just worry about not blowing us up here and I’ll worry about the math okay?”

 

I nod and start working on the bolts while Raven went to Finn’s side and starts making out with him, again. 

 

Fuck.

 

I didn’t even know him for that long and he has no regard for my feelings? No, I deserve more than this. He’s an asshole for doing this to Raven and me. I should tell her, let her know that her boyfriend is a cheater. She did risk her life to get down here to be with him. How could I do that to her? No. I’ll let Finn tell her. It’s not my business anymore. I’m done with him.

 

+

 

I haven’t talked to Clarke since we were in the armory tent. I know she’s trying to avoid me and I’m doing the same. I can’t worry about her while I’m still grieving Atom and Charlotte, it doesn’t help that Monroe keeps following me around like a little lost puppy. I mean I’m grateful that she’s here for me when Clarke isn’t and no one else stepped up but I don’t want what she wants with me and I don’t know how to tell her that. Last night shouldn’t have happened and that’s my fault for initiating it in the first place.

 

Fuck and to top it all off Ravens here! I didn’t think Earth would be this… intense.

 

I want to talk to Clarke but how do I when she doesn’t even want to talk to me? We’ve been dismantling this pod for hours now and it still seems like we don’t have everything Raven needs. I left my spot to avoid Monroe when Raven starts to walk toward me.

 

“Just go talk to her Woods.” 

 

“Not to be rude but why are you talking to me Reyes?” I look at her smiling at me.

 

“What? I can’t help an old friend when she is so deeply needs assistance in getting some courage to talk to a girl? Well not just any girl. Clarke Griffin isn’t just an ordinary girl now is she?”

 

“One, you aren’t an old friend and two my friendship with Clarke is none of your business.” She looked at me with a stern face. Good I need her to know I mean business.

 

“Woah, woah, woah. Woods chill. What happened between us was year ago. Let’s have bygones be bygones. I’m seriously telling you to go talk to her because I’m trying to be your   
friend. She seems like she needs someone to talk to her too though. I know I don’t know her well but she seems off to me somehow.”

 

Maybe cause she’s sleeping with your boyfriend.

 

“Thanks Reyes but I can handle this on my own.” She walks away from me and goes back to telling people what to do with the scraps from the pod. 

 

We got everything Raven needed to make the rockets and we all got to work once we got back to camp. The whole time I couldn’t stop thinking about Raven telling me to go talk to Clarke. She does look like someone stole her candy but I don’t know what to say to her. I don’t know why she’s mad at me.

 

“Lexa! There you are I’ve been looking all over for you!” Monroe jumps in my arms and kisses me. I look over and I see Clarke look away as soon as I saw her. 

 

Oh well that could be why.

 

“Listen Monroe we need to talk.” I led her into the drop ship away from everyone. “Listen what happened last night can’t happen again. It was nice what we did but I was in an emotional state and I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m sorry for putting you through this but I just really want to be your friend again. I hope you can forgive me and not let this get in the way.”

 

“I know. You’ve been trying to avoid me all day. I was just hoping I guess that maybe we might have grown together. I would still like to be your friend Lexa, of course. Rather that than nothing at all right? Haha.” Her chuckle seemed sad but she meant it.

 

“I’m sorry Monroe but thank you for understanding.” We hugged it out and she left without another word.

 

It’s for the better. Things would have gone south real fast and I can’t put her through that. She’s a great girl who deserves better. Now as for Clarke, Monroe hasn’t done anything touchy till right now so I don’t see why she would be mad at me. 

 

I stayed in the drop ship till Finn came in.

 

“Lexa…. hey…..”

 

“Hi Finn.”

 

“Uhm do you mind if I sit here too?”

 

“Did you mind telling Clarke about you and Raven before you slept with her?”

 

“That isn’t any of your business!”

 

“Clarke is my business and so was Raven way before you were in the picture!”

 

“Hey! Raven choose me over you and Atom, so did Clarke! Like every girl in your life they choose someone else over you. Look at what happened with Costia! Look what you did to your parents! Anyone who loves you ends up dying or leaving you! Face it. You aren’t deserving of love and you will always be alone! You will always be miserable! Clarke will never choose you over me!”

 

Things went fast after that. I punched him in the eye and he fell to the ground. I got on top of him and started punching him in the face. Everything was going blurry and someone was yelling at me to stop but I couldn’t. No matter what I just kept hitting him. I saw all the blood and I tried to stop but I couldn’t. I couldn’t control myself I just kept hitting him. Bellamy grabbed me and pulled me off of him.

 

“Lexa enough!” Bellamy was still holding me in the air.

 

“Put me down. I’m fine now.” Clarke went running to Finn to check up on him and I swear he gave me a smirk. I walked closer to him. 

 

“Stop, Lexa, you’ve done enough damage!” Clarke didn’t even look at me.

 

“Why do you defending him when he lied to you? He has a girlfriend Clarke!” She looked up at me but she didn’t say anything. “Take this as a warning Finn. Don’t do anything stupid and if I find out you hurt her even more than now, Bellamy won’t be here to stop me next time.” I walk out and go into the woods.

 

How can she be so stupid?! He lied to her and cheated on Raven. I don’t even like her and I still know that this is wrong. I need to walk and clear my head. 

 

I went down to the river and sat on the edge dangling my feet above the water. Everything was spinning in my head so fast. I couldn’t stay on one topic. Everything with Costia, my parents, I’m a strong person but I felt so alone now more than ever before.

 

“Lexa!” I turn around and see Octavia.

 

“Octavia, hey. If Bellamy’s following you I’m sorry but I rather not talk to him right now.”

 

“No. It’s just me. You’re mad at him too huh?” She sat down right next to me.

 

“No. Stuff just went down between Finn and I and I rather not have a million questions asked right now.”

 

“Oh my god Lexa your hand! It’s bleeding!” She grabbed my hand and lord it hurt like a bitch.

 

“Fuck that hurt!” I didn’t even notice it till now.

 

“Fuck Lexa what happened?!” She looked genuinely worried.

 

“Didn’t I just say I didn’t want to have a million questions asked?” I look over at her and her face looks shocked.

“Wait, Finn did this to you?!”

 

“What? No. That’s what my fist did to his face.” She looked impressed. “He was saying some stuff and after everything’s that’s happened in the past 48 hours I just cracked.” Her   
face was blank and I didn’t know what to make of it.

 

“I understand. I feel like that towards Bellamy when he keeps demanding me around like I’m 5 years old or something. I know he’s doing it because he loves me and he practically raised me but still. I’m old enough to take care of myself.”

 

“You’re right. You are strong enough. He just doesn’t want to lose you and he doesn’t realize you’re old enough to handle yourself yet, but he will.”

 

“Thanks Lexa. I’m going to head back to camp now, you coming?” She gets up and hands me her hand.

 

“Thanks but I think I’m going to stay here for a little while longer and clear my head.” She nods and walks away.

 

I’m losing my shit and I don’t know how to get it back. Earth is changing us and I don’t know if it’s for the better or for the worse. Finn was right; everyone I ever loved has left me. Love makes me weak. I attacked Finn because he mentioned people I loved and who have left. Love is weakness and I have to remember that. I’ve been doing just fine on my own and I can’t let some girl ruin that. Clarke isn’t just some girl though. 

 

Fuck me, I’m screwed.

 

I don’t know how long I was sitting on that rock but when I looked around me everything was dark. I headed back to camp. When I got there everyone was huddled around this ramp and Raven was lighting the ends of the rockets on fire. 

 

That was fast. 

 

I walked over to the drop ship away from everyone else and watched as the rockets took off and light up the night in a reddish color filling the sky. It was beautiful. I heard a noise and I turned around and saw Clarke.

 

“Hey.” I say carefully.

 

“Hey.” She was staring at the rockets.

 

“How’s Finn?”

 

“He has a broken noise and his face is swollen but he’ll be okay. What the hell happened earlier Lexa?”

 

“He said some stuff and I lost it.” I shrugged. He didn’t tell her what happened.

 

“You said if you hurt her more than now Bellamy won’t be here to stop me next time. Who were you talking about?” Clarke was looking at me now. The color the rockets were   
leaving behind made her look so much more beautiful. Her blue eyes were dark but bright all at the same time.

 

Damn it Lexa stop! Love is weakness!

 

“Clarke just drop it okay? I don’t want to talk about it.” She opened to her mouth but she doesn’t say anything. She looked away and saw Finn and Raven together and looked down.

 

Wow his face looks fucked up! Props to me!

 

“Were you talking about Raven?”

 

Seriously?

 

“What? No, I mean sort of. He’s hurting her too but no. I was talking about you, Clarke. He’s hurting you and you defended him. You deserve so much better than him Clarke and you don’t see that.”

 

“Like you and Monroe?”

 

“What does Monroe have to do with this?”

 

“I saw you with her coming out of the drop ship. She kissed you and you let her. You guys are together and you’re over here defending me. You’re beating up people for me when you’re with her. How is that fair to her?”

 

“Clarke, we’re not together. What do you mean when we got out of the drop ship?”

 

“Last night Lexa! You slept with her and I can’t be upset about it because I left you for Finn but I am! I am upset and I don’t know why but all I know is that it hurt to see you come out putting on your shirt and so was she.” 

 

“Clarke. We didn’t sleep together. We made out a bit but nothing more. I was upset about everything that happened with Atom and Charlotte and you. Yes in the moment kissing her seemed like a good idea but it didn’t feel right so I stopped it. I sleep with my shirt off and I was curled up into a ball under the blankets before she came. She wasn’t going to lie there with me with her jacket on so she took it off. Nothing happened between us. We’re just friends.” She stayed quiet and smiled a bit?

 

“I’m sorry. I just assumed after what I saw that you guys... I should have asked or something or I don’t know. I just shouldn’t have assumed and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left you for Finn but it’s over between us. I do deserve better than him and I’m not going to see him like that anymore. I told him that already.”

 

I smiled at that and so did she.

 

“Can I ask you a question? You don’t have to answer it but… did he… did you guys…” I swallowed sharply.

 

“No. We didn’t. We were about to but I stopped it. I don’t want my first time to be like that and I’m glad I stopped it after today. He told me he was a virgin too but I’m pretty sure that was a load of shit too.”

 

“Okay.” I felt a big weight lift off my shoulders after she said that. I mean I rather her not have done anything with him but at least she didn’t sleep with him. We looked up at the rockets that we somehow have a lot of. “Do you think they’ll see it?” I looked at her and she looked back at me.

 

“They need to. 300 people are depending on it.” She looks down and grabs my hand. She smiles at me and I smile back. Good thing the rockets are red otherwise she would have seen how red I was. We look back up at the rockets and how beautiful they were lighting up the night sky. 

 

Maybe love isn’t weakness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently working on chapter 6 and I'm adding more pov's but one of them is really hard to do. I'll try to have it up by tomorrow if not Tuesday for sure. I need to get back on it.


	6. Stop and Smell The Roses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was out of the country and only had WiFi in certain parts and only for like 2 minutes so this chapter is waaaaaay overdue and I'm sorry but to make up for it I'm uploading 2 chapters and it's in multiple povs. Also, I am starting my freshman year of college soon and I'm studying medicine so I really don't know how often I will be uploading this fic but know I am definitely NOT abandoning this fic

*  
“Aah! Bellamy you have to promise me you won’t say anything! Say what will happen if you do!” 

“You’d get floated, but I don’t understand mom. Why can’t I get someone to help you? Why is it so bad for you to have another kid?” I was so scared. Mother was sweating so much and trying so hard to hold her screams in. I didn’t understand then how big it was to have more than two children. What damage it would have done if the word got out. How we managed to keep her a secret is a mystery I’ll never understand.

“Bell, you know this already. The ark’s life support wouldn’t survive if everyone were to have more than one child. The Chancellor won’t allow it. Aah! Bellamy get the blanket, the babies coming!” I turn around and get the blanket behind me and wait. Mother started pushing and I can see the baby coming out.   
It was gross.

Once it was all the way out I gave the blanket to her and she wrapped the baby around it, she was smiling so much.

“Bellamy, you have a little sister. Do you want to hold her?” She put her in my arms and she was so small and delicate. “You should name her.”

“Augustus had a sister. Octavia. Is that okay?” I look over at her and she was falling asleep. “Mom! Get up! You can’t fall asleep remember!” I start to nudge her but moving made Octavia move and she did not like that. She was starting to cry.

“You can’ let her cry Bell. Your sister, your responsibility.” She nodded off to sleep and I was left alone with Octavia.

“Please shh, we have to be quite please, Octavia.” I put my finger in her mouth and she stopped crying. She was nibbling on my finger and it tickled a bit. “See you’re okay. I won’t let anything bad happen to you Octavia, I promise.” She was so small. She had only been born for no more than 30 minutes but I already loved her, I already felt the urge to protect her and be everything she needed me to be. I was already ready to be her big brother and be responsible for her.  
*

 

“Octavia!” 

 

Where the hell is she?

 

I’m going through everyone’s tent and I can’t find her, she’s nowhere to be found and she’s been gone since morning. I should have listened to my instincts and not have let her wonder off on her own. I should have kept her at camp with someone watching her.

 

“O!” I open Clarke’s tent and she’s with Lexa. “Have you guys seen Octavia?”

 

“No. I haven’t seen her all day.” 

 

“The last time I saw her was by the river. After everything that went down with Finn. She left way before me. She said she was going back to camp.” Lexa looks really worried.

 

“Don’t worry Bellamy. You know Octavia. She probably found more butterflies and went to chase after them.” 

 

“No Clarke. She’s been gone since this morning. No one’s seen her come back.” 

 

What have I done?

 

“Okay we’ll help you look but I’m only doing this for Octavia.”

 

“Clarke. Come on Bellamy’s helped us through a lot. Yeah he fucked up but he means well, sort of.”

 

“You don’t need to stand up for me Lexa. I can do that on my own. Wake everyone up. We’re going to look for my sister.”

 

“Everyone get up!” I yelled out as I walked away from them. “Get up now!”

 

I need to find Octavia.

 

+

 

Walking with Lexa by my side again felt nice. The circumstances that drove us apart and back together again weren’t so great but I’m glad it happened. We’re a bit closer now. She’s still shutting me out though. I can feel it, I don’t know how to open her up, have her know it’s okay to open up to me.

 

Bellamy started yelling at everyone to get up. Some stayed in bed while other more loyal fellows came out as fast as they could. He dropped a pile of weapons in front of everyone.  
“My sister has been missing for more than 12 hours and I’m not coming back till I find her. Grab a weapon if you’re willing to help.”

 

What is he doing? “Jasper! You don’t have to do this. You haven’t left camp since what happened.”

 

“Clarke, I have to do this okay?” He didn’t look at me but I can tell he’s scared.

 

“Yes he does, the more people looking for Octavia the better. Finn get out here we need you!” Bellamy yelled.

 

Shit. I turn around and I see Lexa grabbing a weapon too. “Lexa, what are you doing?”

 

“I’m going to help find O, I’m a good hunter and she would have done the same for me. We need to find her before she’s strung up somewhere or worse.”

 

“No you can’t, it’s too dangerous! It’s still dark out!”

 

“Clarke, I’ll be fine, look how many people are coming. Listen, we’ll be back by noon okay? I promise.” She put her hand on my shoulder; smiling and I relaxed a bit.

 

“Clarke!” I turn around and Finn was behind me. I turn back around and Lexa was walking away. “Lexa! Wait!” I start to go after her but Finn grabbed my arm. “Clarke, please, we should talk.”

 

“We don’t need to talk about anything Finn. You have a girlfriend, end of story. Whatever we had is over.”

 

“Raven is my girlfriend and I do care about her but are you sure you want to end this because I’m not.” He’s not lying. His face looks sincere.

 

“Finn, I’m not going to be the reason why a relationship ends and you lied to me, how can I trust you again?” He didn’t say anything but he knew what I said was true.

 

“Guys look up! It looks so beautiful!”

 

I ran towards the group around Bellamy and looked up at the sky.

 

Oh no.

 

“They didn’t get our message.” Raven said behind me. 

 

When did she get there? Shit did she hear what Finn and I were talking about?

 

“A meteor shower tells you that princess.” Bellamy was smirking.

 

“It’s not a meteor shower. It’s a funeral. More than a hundred bodies being returned to the ground. The rockets didn’t work.” Bellamy stopped smirking and went serious.

 

“This is all your fault!” Raven went charging for Bellamy but Finn held her back.

 

“Hey I helped find your radio! I did my job!”

 

“Yeah after you stole it from my pod and trashed it!”

 

“He knows Raven.” I put my hand on her shoulder and look toward Bellamy. “Now he has to live with it.”

 

“We’re wasting time talking about this. Let’s move out!” Bellamy started walking out to the woods.

 

“We need to contact the ark. They’ll only keep killing people to sustain oxygen. We need to tell them the ground is survivable.” Raven rolled her eyes.

 

Finn started to walk away but Raven caught his arm.

 

“I need to go and you should stay here and fix the radio okay with Clarke okay?”

 

“Fix it? The transmitter is trashed and unless you know a place where there are spare parts then we’re screwed.” Mmmm…

 

“The art supply store.” Finn didn’t look so happy for me to say that. “I think I know a place where you can find a transmitter.” Finn rolled his eyes and Raven just kept looking at him.

 

“Great, I guess you’re coming with me.” 

 

Finn looked at us in horror.

 

“Great. Just be careful okay?” He was looking at me when he said that and only glanced at Raven before he started to walk away.

 

“Hey!” Raven grabbed him and kissed him. “I love you.” 

 

Oh God.

 

“I love you too.” Before he left he looked at me and walked away. Well at this rate Raven will figure shit out and he won’t have a girlfriend anymore if he keeps shrugging her off and focusing on me.

 

“Raven, come on, it’s this way.” We turn and head the other way.

 

“Clarke!” Lexa grabs my arm and turns me around. “Hey, where are you going with her?” She’s whispering and stares at Raven. “I can come with you guys so you won’t be alone.” Her face looked serious.

 

I move my head to block Raven and she finally looks at me. “We’re going to the bunker to see if there’s something she can use for the radio. You need to be out there with Bellamy to find Octavia. I’ll see you at noon remember? I’ll be fine with her? Just worry about the grounders, okay?” I hugged her and she smells amazing. She smells of wood and mint with a mix of orange.

 

I can get used to that.

 

“Take a knife with you or something.” She hugged me a little tighter and left.

 

I turn back around and Raven was smiling.

 

“What?”

 

“So you and Woods huh? I didn’t know you went that way Griffin and here I was worried about you and Finn hahaha my bad.” She smiles and starts walking. “Come on. I don’t know where we’re going and we have a lot of talking to do about you and Lexa.”

 

Oh fucking shit. Today is going to be a long day. 

 

Why was Lexa so worried about me being with Raven? Something’s going on there and I need to find out.

 

+

 

Owe! Fuck my leg! There’s a big bump on my knee. I look around and I’m in some type of cave. 

 

Where the fuck am I?

 

There were noises near the entrance in front of me. I tried to get up but my leg gave out.

 

“Owe! Aah!” The pain was agonizing. A man came past the corner and had a knife. The point of it was a bright white. “Please no don’t hurt me!” He grabbed me and held me down. He plunged the knife into my leg.

 

I must have blacked out because that’s the last thing I remember before getting up. 

 

I think I’m alone. It’s dark and I don’t hear anything. The only light coming through was from on top. There was a whole and the moon was so bright. It was beautiful. I look down at my leg.

 

He fixed it. 

 

I moved it and it didn’t hurt anymore.

 

What the hell?

 

“Hello?” There was no response. He’s probably gone. I got up and grabbed an antler that was on the floor next to me. My leg still hurt but it wasn’t as bad as before. I turn the corner and now I know for sure he isn’t here. This cave is so small and narrow. I don’t know how he got me in here.

 

I look up and there’s the door. I try tugging on it for it to open it but it doesn’t budge.

 

Fuck it must be locked from the outside.

 

I get back up and keep walking. The antler pulls a rock out from the wall. I look where it had fallen and start to move the moss and the bigger rocks out of the way. There’s a tunnel. I get into in and start crawling. It’s tight and dark but I keep pushing my way through.

*  
“Hahaha woah!” Bellamy sets me down after giving me a piggyback ride. “Another one!”

“Okay where would you like to go next? The rainforest or the desert?” He put his hands on his knees so he can see my eyes.

“Take me around the ark Bell I want to see what it looks like outside!” 

“Enough.” An alarm goes off. It’s time. “Okay Octavia, you know the drill, it’s time for the surprise inspection.”

“No! I don’t want to! This isn’t fair!”

“Stop Octavia, I know you’re afraid. I want you to close your eyes and say ‘I’m not afraid’ that is how you slay your demons okay?” The guards were banging on the door. “Say it!”  
I close my eyes, “I’m not afraid.”

“There you go.” She kissed the top of my head and walked me over to the floor board where I hide. 

“Wait!” I grab my bunny and Bell puts me under the floor, whispering ‘it’s going to be okay’ before closing it. I held onto her tight and whispered to myself. “I’m not afraid, it’s   
going to be okay,” over and over again. I heard some rustling and a bang from up top. “I’m not afraid, it’s going to be okay!”  
*

 

I can hear bats and there were spider webs everywhere, “I’m not afraid.” I final make it out after what seemed like forever and fall to the ground, its morning. I crawl close to where the tunnel was to make sure a grounder didn’t see me. The coast was clear. I make a run for it and just keep running. There’s someone running towards me and I stop and hide in the bushes.

 

“I’m not afraid. It’s going to be okay.”

 

+

 

“You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to you know?” 

 

“Don’t worry about me Blake. If I get the sudden urge to beat Finn up again I’ll let you know.” He looked at me disapprovingly and looked forward. “Don’t worry Bellamy. He learned his lesson and I won’t do anything if he behaves. Need to save my energy for more important things.”

 

“Clarke you mean.” He was smirking at me and I knew what he was thinking.

 

“You should worry about finding your sister and less about what Clarke and I do in our spare time.” He chuckled and walked up towards Finn. We’ve been walking for hours and somehow none of us we’re complaining. We did lose more than half of our group when we entered Grounder Territory. I didn’t even want to pass the barrier. There were skeletons strung up everywhere but danger attracts me and we need to get Octavia back.

 

“We lost the trail. I got nothing Bellamy we need to back track.” 

 

“No Finn, I’m not going back!”

 

“Guy’s where’s John?” Roma asked.

 

“He was here a second ago. He couldn’t have gotten far.” I tried smiling at her.

 

We look around when something fell. It was John. His throat was slit.

 

“They’re using the trees!” Finn looked up.

 

“Look there’s one right there!” Jasper points in between the trees.

 

“There’s another one!” Monroe points towards the opposite direction.

 

“There everywhere!” Roma points at two more.

 

“Run! Run now!” Bellamy starts running and we follow. The grounders start running towards us as well.

 

We’re all running at the speed of light to get away from the grounders but there fast. They keep heading us off.

 

Jasper falls in front of me and I trip and fall over him. We pick each other up and when we turn around a grounder is in front of us with his sword.

 

“Bellamy!” Jasper yells before the grounder plunges his sword out at us.

 

Clarke…

 

+

 

“Raven I know you just got here but can you stop stopping and smelling the roses. We need to hurry up and fix the radio.”

 

“Hahaha hurry up and save the world right?” She grabs the flower she smelled and puts it in her hair.

 

“You know the pod was Abby’s idea. It hurt her to not be able to come down here with me. She never stopped believing you were alive. I’ve never seen someone care as much as she cares about you.”

 

I turn around and keep walking. “Yeah mother of the year.” I turn around and she’s looking at me funny. “It’s complicated.”

 

“Mmm well my mother was awol most of my life. I’m pretty sure she just had me to trade in my rations for moonshine.”

 

“How did you survive?” I move the leaves to the hatch.

 

“Finn helped me. He lived next door to me. He was there for me, shared his rations, and remembered my birthday. He’s my family.”

 

Oh shit. What the fuck did I do?

 

I open the hatch and I go in first. She follows after and told her to close the door. I turned on the flashlights and hand her one and went to light the candles. I started grabbing totes to look through while Raven was wondering around looking at the bunker. 

 

“How did you find this place?”

 

“I didn’t Finn did. He likes to not follow the rules and wonder around aimlessly in the night.”

 

She turns to me and smiles and looks at everything the bunker has to offer. 

 

I pick up a toy remote control truck and hold it up “Hey will this work?”

 

“Sweet, yeah, this will help with the radio frequency. Now if we can find the controller than we’ll be golden!”

 

“Alright I’m on it.” Looking back into the tote and Raven starts looking behind me.

 

“Hey Finn made this.” I turn around and she’s holding up the two headed reindeer he made me when we first got here.

 

“Oh uhm yeah on our first day here we saw this two headed deer. Welcome to paradise right?”

 

She didn’t say anything after that. 

 

Fuck.

 

“Found it!” I turn around and she’s still holding onto the deer. I grab it and give her the controller. She opens it up and expects it on the inside. “Cool, ready to go?”

 

“Hurry up and save the world right? Yeah let’s go.” She wasn’t looking at me.

 

I hurry up and walk past her, fuck I think she knows. We leave the bunker and start walking back to camp in silence. It felt weird, it felt awkward.

 

+

 

“I can’t run anymore!” Jasper stopped and tried to catch his breath. We’ve been running for hours. Bellamy saved us from that grounder by hitting him in the head and we started to run for our lives.

 

“Good cause I’m done running!” Bellamy stopped and took out his weapon.

 

Roma started to run the other way, “Diggs! Where are you!”

 

“Roma!” We all ran after her. We heard her scream and followed the noise. Diggs was dead on a trap that the grounders set up.

 

“They’re leading us here. This was the only way we could have run.” I said

 

“Where’s Roma?” Monroe was looking around for her. 

 

“Going after her!” I ran past Monroe and headed deeper into the woods.

 

We heard her scream and we ran faster to get to her. “There she is!”

 

“Roma!”

 

She didn’t turn around.

 

Bellamy was the first to get to her. “She only came because of me.” She was struck by a spear and Bellamy closed her eyes.

 

“They could kill us whenever they want.” Finn put his hand on his shoulder.

 

“And they should just get it over with! We’re over here! Come and get us!” Jasper was yelling at the top of his lungs.

 

Finn tried to make him stop but he just kept yelling. Everyone else was looking around scared.

 

“They’re coming!” I yelled holding up my sword. Jasper stopped yelling and we all got ready for the fight that was about to happen.

 

A horn went off and the grounders stopped and ran the other direction.

 

“What’s going on? What does that horn mean?” 

 

“Acid fog.” Finn was taking off his pack.

 

“We need to run!” I yell over the horn

 

“We don’t have time.” Finn grabbed a parachute and told us to all go in it.

 

The 5 of us huddled together basically on top of one another. It felt like we’ve been like this for hours. 

 

“Will this even work?” Bellamy was angry.

 

“There’s only one way to find out.” Finn was worried.

 

“No, I’m not waiting any longer, my sister is out there and I can’t sit around here waiting to see if this might work!” He got up and opened the parachute.

 

“Bellamy no!” Finn tried to grab him but Bellamy was pushed him off.

 

There wasn’t any fog.

 

“It must have been a false alarm.” Finn shrugged.

 

“There’s a grounder.” I point towards his direction, “I think he’s alone.”

 

“I’m going after him.” Bellamy starts to walk off.

 

“And do what kill him?” Finn grabs his shoulder.

 

“No. I’m going to make him tell me where Octavia is then I’m going to kill him.” He runs after the grounder.

 

“How do we know this isn’t another trap?” Jasper looks around panicked.

 

“We don’t.” I say to him before we start to follow Bellamy, “We just gotta hope it isn’t.”

 

+

 

I walk into the drop ship and see Raven working. “Hey, how’s the radio coming?” 

 

She didn’t say anything. “Are you okay? You hardly said a word on our way back from the bunker.”

 

She got up and held the reindeer. Fuck.

 

“Tell me Finn didn’t make this for you. Tell me you weren’t screwing my boyfriend as I was risking my ass to come down here!”

 

“I wasn’t screwing him, but we weren’t just friends either, Raven.”

 

“He made me one too just in case you thought you were special.” She turned around to face the radio

 

“Raven, I didn’t want this! I didn’t even know you existed till yesterday. For all we knew everyone on the ark was going to die or soon enough at least. Please, I swear I didn’t know otherwise I wouldn’t have encouraged him.”

 

“He could have waited for more than 10 days.” She was tearing up and sat down on the stool looking away from me. I started to walk out before she spoke again.

 

“Do you love him?”

 

What?

 

“I hardly know him Raven.” I left her after that.

 

I can’t love Finn, he screwed me over.

 

+

*  
“O guess what?!” Bell came in with the biggest smile and sat in the chair next to me.

“Another inspection.” I say rolling my eyes, “I’ll get in the hole.” I get up but he grabs my arm.

“No, wait O. You won’t believe what’s about to happen right now!” I have never seen a cheesier smile.

“Bell I don’t want to hear about another moonrise that I’ll never be able to see please!” I put my hand on my face trying to hide my frustration.

“That’s it O! You’re going to see one, today, right now!” I look up at him.

“What? How is that possible? You know I can’t leave the room.”

“Well I didn’t want to say anything until I knew my friend was going to be on duty with me but the Unity Day Masquerade Dance starts in 10 minutes.” He takes out a mask and hands it to me.

“What about mom?” I say putting on the mask.

“It’s okay. We’ll be back before she even knew you were gone.” He heads towards the door and opens it, looking outside before turning to me and saying, “Wanna go for a walk?”

He leads me out and says it’s okay before leading me through a series of hallways. 

Everything was gray, just like our home. I was walking slowly, scared if someone we’re to see me and realize I’m not one of them.

Bell turns to me and smiles before getting out the way.

Wow…

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful before.

Space, the ground, the moon, all in harmony together. I tried not to cry. It was just so damn beautifully amazing. I was just staring out the window for the longest time before people started heading our way. I look down till they passed us.

Please don’t realize I don’t belong here.

I turn towards Bell and he nods for me to follow into a room where the dance was being held. The room was dark and there were only a couple lights on the side to see one another. I look around taking everything in when I notice the other people were wearing nicer clothing than I was. I look down at my scraps dress and look at other girls wearing newer better clothing. 

It’s okay. At least I’m out of my home.

The music was upbeat and I realized then that I didn’t know how to dance. I tried to copy other girls but I felt awkward. I took in a deep breath and turned in circles waving my hands in the air, smiling. Stop trying to copy others and dance the way you want, this might be my only time out and I’m going to enjoy every last bit of it.

After a while I got a rhythm when this guy comes up to me and starts asking questions I don’t know. I turn letting my hair hit his face when the lights turned on and a lady starts yelling about a solar flare.

I need to get out of here!

I look to find Bellamy but I can’t find him. I started walking fast looking everywhere to find him when a hand grabs me.

It’s Bell.

“This way.” He lead me toward the entrance when an officer comes in telling us to take off our masks. Bell takes me away from him to a wall.

“Bell what are we going to do? I need to get home!”

“Listen. Whatever happens I want you to go home and get under the floor, you’ll be safe there like always.” 

“What are you going to do?” I shouldn’t have left home.

“I’m going to cause a distraction.” He takes out a metal electrified weapon as he starts to walk away.

“Wait, Bell, how do I get home?!” He stops and looks at me in his ‘oh shit’ face. He doesn’t say anything and it’s not long till the guy who was telling us to take our masks off comes up to us.

“Cadet Blake, why is your weapon out?” He turns to me and takes off me mask. “I said masks off.”

Shit he saw my face; he’ll know I’m not one of them!

“She’s okay sir I already scanned her. He nods and starts to walk away before looking at Bell’s hands.

“You don’t have a scanner.” He looks to me, “I.D. please.”

“No wait, Lieutenant Shumway, she needs to leave. I’ll do anything, please. As a fellow guardsmen, please, I’ll do anything.”

“You’re not a guardsmen yet cadet.” He looks to me, “I.D. now.”

Shit. I should have never left home.

I made a run for it towards the exit.

“Stop her!” Two other officers grab me and hold me there. I look at Bell and he looks like he just kicked repeatedly.

I should have never left home.  
*

 

“Please just let me go! Please!” I was screaming at the grounder that chained me in his cave. He captured me again when the arrow that hit Monroe was supposed to hit me.

 

He saved me.

 

He had been gone for hours when he came back. He walked toward me, crouched down so we can be eye level and just stared at me. I grabbed the rock by my foot and hit him in the head twice before he fell to the ground.

 

The key was in his hand. I quickly grab it and start to unlock my chains. I heard someone coming and grab the rock and try to hide it along with the key. I look behind me when the noise got closer.

 

“Bellamy?”

 

“Octavia!” He ran to me and hugged me. “Monroe watch the exit!”

 

“Bell the key, get me out of before he wakes up!” He rushed to get me unchained, I got up and hugged him, and he kept whispering ‘you’re okay, I got you, you’re okay’. He would always do that when I would get scared. “Come on! Let’s go!”

 

“No, we’re going to send them a message. They think they can mess with us?” Bell turned around and grabbed a spear. “We’re stronger than we look and they need to know that we’re not afraid of them!”

 

“No, Bellamy, please! This is over! Let’s go! We’ll deal with the grounders later!”

 

He wasn’t responding and he just kept walking over to the grounder. 

 

Lexa kneeled down next to him, she was looking at something. “It’s the fog horn. He helped us escape Bellamy but why?” She turned to show us.

 

At that moment the grounder got up and grabbed his dagger to kill Lexa, She blocked one of his thrusts but he pushed her to the ground. He got on top of her and was about to stab her but she grabbed onto the blade, blood was rushing down her hand and she yelled in pain. 

 

Finn pushed him off of her but the grounder grabbed him and stabbed Finn on his side in the process. I ran to their sides and the grounder turned toward the others. 

 

Bellamy rushed toward the grounder with the spear but the grounder was too quick and tripped him, Bell fell to the floor and the grounder got the spear and was about to stab him but Bellamy caught it before he could. “No, please that’s my brother!” The grounder was still fighting to stab him and Bellamy only had a couple more seconds of fight in him before he gave up. Jasper came out of nowhere with a pipe and bashed him in the head making the grounder pass out and hit the floor.

 

What I didn’t understand was why he was willing to save me but kill my friends. It doesn’t make any sense.

 

We grabbed Finn and Lexa grabbed me, we rushed back to camp as fast as we could and got there faster than I was expecting.

 

“Open the gates and get Clarke!” Bellamy yelled out once we reached the fence.

 

They opened the door right away and Clarke was running up the door.

 

“Clarke we need your help!” Lexa yelled at her.

 

“What happened?!” She looked at my leg and saw the blood coming from Lexa, her eyes grew big.

 

“We’re fine, Finn needs you.” She looked at me confused and we moved out of the way. Bellamy was carrying Finn with the dagger still plunged into his side.

 

“Oh my god, Finn!” She rushed past us and checked his pulse point. “He’s still alive take him to the drop ship now!”

 

“Clarke! Is he going to be okay can you save him?” Raven ran up to Clarke once she saw Finn.

 

I still can’t believe what happened. It was all so fast and surreal. Why would the grounder save me and try to kill the others?

 

“Octavia!” Clarke was looking at my leg.

 

“I’m fine just go help Finn!” She ran toward the drop ship.

 

“Hey! Can you tell me why you were defending that grounder back there?”

 

“He saved me Bell. The spear that hit Roma was supposed to hit me and if it wasn’t for him then I…”

 

“No!” Bellamy cut me off, “I saved you! For all we know he was saving you for another one of their traps!”

 

“No! I don’t think so.”

 

“You never think O! They killed 3 of our people today and if you would have let me killed him when I wanted to then Finn wouldn’t have gotten stabbed!”

 

“No! Stop blaming me for your mistakes! What happened to Finn was NOT my fault! I wanted to leave so if Finn dies in there that’s on you!” Bellamy was just staring at me “God, everything that’s gone wrong is because of you! You got me locked up, you wanted me to go to that stupid dance, you got mom killed!”

 

Bellamy laughed, “Me? Mom got floated for having you; she’s dead because you’re alive. That was her choice. I didn’t get to have one! My life ended the day you were born!”

 

“Go float yourself Bell!” I walked toward the gate but he grabbed my arm.

 

“Where do you think your going?!”

 

“You can’t keep me locked in here forever!” I pushed him arm off and went to my tent.

 

This isn’t over. I need answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you guys like the multi pov? Let me know in the comments!


	7. Ours is Just Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The other chapter for being late

“This is Raven Reyes calling Ark Station, can you hear me?” Static noise.

 

“Ark Station, Ark Station can you read me? This is Raven Reyes, can anyone hear me?” More static noise.

 

“Ark Station please come in. I’m on the ground with the 100, we need you.” Static. Finn is still past out on the table with the dagger in him. 

 

Damn this storm is messing with the frequency! Damn it, Finn, can’t hold on much longer!

 

“Ark Station this is Raven Reyes please come in.”

 

“Calling Ark Station. Are you there? Please come in!” Buzzing noise.

 

“This is a restricted channel. Identify yourself.” Yes!

 

“This is Raven Reyes I’m from Meca Station. I’m transmitting from the ground. The hundred are alive please you need to get Dr. Abby Griffin, Dr. Abby Griffin, now!” 

 

“Hold on Raven we’re trying to boost your signal.” There’s noise but it’s hard to make out.

 

“Raven. Are you there?” Abby…

 

“Mom, mom it’s me. We need your help.” Clarke moved me to talk to her.

 

“Clarke?”

 

“One of our people got stabbed by a grounder.”

 

“Clarke this is the Chancellor. Are you saying there are survivors on the ground?”

 

“Yes the Earth is survivable. We are not alone.”

 

Damn it I know this is cool but Clarke come on Finn needs you!

 

“Mom he’s dying. The knife is still in his chest.”

 

“Clarke is my son with you?”

 

Oh shit.

 

“I’m so sorry. Wells is…. Wells is dead.” Jaha didn’t say anything else after that.

 

“I’m going to talk you through it step by step okay? I’m…. pa…. Medical….”

 

“What?! Raven what’s wrong?”

 

“It’s not the radio. It’s the storm, it’s messing with my frequency. I don’t know how long we got till it goes silent.”

 

Hold on Finn.

 

Octavia…

 

Focus, try to enhance the frequency and get it stronger.

 

“Raven the needle, it’s sterilized.” Cosima hands me the needle, all smiles.

 

“Great thanks Cosima.” I smile back at her and head towards Clarke.

 

“Clarke! Look one suture needle.”

 

“Thanks I still need something to close the wound.”

 

“There’s some wire on the second level I use for tents.”

 

“Yeah that’ll work, got get it.” Octavia is limping you really want her to go up those stairs Clarke?

 

Wait the wires.

 

“Listen stay away from the blue wires that run through the ceiling. I rigged it to the solar cells in the roof. That means they’re hot got it?”

 

“Yeah I got it!” Haha don’t roll your eyes at me Blake.

 

“Tell me you can do this Clarke.”

 

Bellamy’s back with a grounder. Is that the fucker who stabbed Finn?!

 

“This isn’t who we are Bellamy!”

 

“Clarke, honey, we’re ready.” The frequency is still the same, dammit I need to fix that, stupid storm! But damn Bellboy over there doesn’t look to happy to see the radio working.

 

“It is now, get him upstairs now!” 

 

“Okay the blade is at an upward angle between the sixth and seventh rib.” I can never be a doctor, too much blood and we haven’t even started yet.

 

“How deep is it?”

 

“Uhm I can’t tell how deep it goes.”

 

“That’s alright just don’t remove the knife yet.”

 

Fuck that was bad wasn’t it? Fuck why am I pacing this isn’t going to help Finn! 

 

“Raven sterilize your hands.” She hands me Monty’s moonshine and I chug a good amount of it.

 

Fuck that burned more than usual. At least it will calm me down.

 

“Clarke can you see any fluid?”

 

“Yo watch it!” Two beef heads were starting to go at it.

 

“Dammit! Get them out of here Reyes!”

 

“Let’s go upstairs now! Clear the damn room!” Don’t make me hurt you!

 

“Uhm he’s a little feverish.”

 

Fuck, what?

 

“That’s okay sometimes fever sets in when there’s trauma. Clarke I need you tell me if there is any fluid leaking from the wound.”

 

“Uhm no, no fluid.”

 

“The pleural membrane’s intact. Okay that’s good, really good. He got lucky.”

 

“See baby you’re lucky.” I kiss Finn’s temple.

 

Don’t leave me.

 

+

 

Hmm which weapon do I use?

 

“Woah he’s awake!” There’s rustling.

 

“Well tie him tighter! The last thing we need is this bastard getting loose cause you guys screwed up!” 

 

He stopped fighting.

 

Octavia. What the hell?!

 

“I told you he was protecting me! You didn’t have to do this.”

 

“This isn’t about you, O, I’m doing this for all of us.”

 

“You did that for all of us?” She pointed to his face. I’m a good shot.

 

“No I did that for Finn and Jasper, Lexa, Roma, John, and Diggs!” Why can’t she see that he’s a killer and he’s hunting us?!”

 

“It wasn’t even him Bell!”

 

“You don’t know that! We need to know what we’re up against. How many there are and why they’re killing us and he’s going to tell us right now!”

 

I move forward to him with my knife and Octavia is trying to pull me back.

 

“No, Bellamy, please!”

 

“Woods, get her out of here!”

 

“I was there!” They move to take her away, “I saw him…. Hey! Get off of me! Lexa, please!” The grounder kept staring at her, he’s trying to escape, while Woods and Manning take   
her out of the room.

 

Why do you care for her?

 

“I don’t even think he speaks English. He won’t understand you.”

 

“Oh, he’ll understand me when I finish with him.”

 

Time for revenge grounder.

 

+

 

“Okay, Clarke, firm grip on the knife. You’re gonna need to angle it upward and to the left, very slightly to the left as it exits the rib cage.”

 

“How very slightly.”

 

“3 …. m…. Clarke?”

 

“What was that? You dropped out?”

 

Raven went to the radio to fix something.

 

“Clarke, 3 millimeters got it?”

 

“Yeah. Okay, I got it.” Do I?

 

“Steady hands Clarke, you’ve assisted me on trickier procedures than this. Once the knife is out the hard part is over okay?” Easy for you to say.

 

“All right, extracting now.”

 

I grab the knife.

 

“He’s waking up!” Shit! No Finn, this is going to hurt!

 

“Finn okay you need to stay still while I get this knife out of you, okay?”

 

“Sounds like a good plan.” He keeps moving.

 

“Finn, you can’t move you go it?”

 

“Uhm, okay. Just hurry!” His breathing is hard and raspy.

 

“Okay here we got. Okay Finn don’t move. I almost got it. Hold still.”

 

BANG!

 

The ark moves violently and we fall to the ground

 

The knife is in my hand… Finn!

 

I look over and he looks back at me. I did it. He’s okay. He’s alive!

 

“Clarke! Is everything okay?!”

 

“It’ out. She did it.” I couldn’t move or talk. 

 

He’s going to be okay.

 

Stitching him up was the easiest part. It was hard for me to keep my hands steady though.

 

“Okay I’m done.”

 

“Do you have anything to patch him up with?”

 

“We’ll make do, like always.”

 

“Should he be this pale? Warm too.” Raven was feeling his forehead.

 

“He’s lost a lot of blood, Raven, but if your boyfriend’s anywhere near as tough as you, I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

 

Boyfriend.

 

I put my hand on his chest.

 

“Wait mom he’s feverish, and his breathing is uneven.”

 

“Well he needs some time to recover, let me know if he gets any worse but I think he might be out of the woods.”

 

“Yeah we got plenty of that here.”

 

Raven nudges me with a smirk. Oh shit I forgot about Lexa.

 

“I need a break.” I need to go see her.

 

“Clarke? Clarke, wait. Raven can you give us a minute please?”

 

“Yeah sure.”

 

“No, no stay with Finn.” I can’t be alone with him or her in that matter.

 

I go up to the second floor but she wasn’t there. Where is she? 

 

No, she wouldn’t.

 

I rush up to the third floor an open the hatch. Manning got in my way.

 

“It’s okay let her through.” Bellamy was staring at this book.

 

I look over and see Lexa rummaging through the grounders stuff. 

 

“Lexa?” She didn’t even look at me.

 

No don’t tell me we’re back here again. Please look at me!

 

I walk closer to her and see the grounder. His face was all types of fucked up.

 

“Well if he didn’t hate us before, he definitely hates us now.”

 

“How’s Finn?” Bellamy took me to the side and he looked genuinely worried. Lexa looked over her shoulder when she heard Finn’s name.

 

“Alive… His people will care. How long do you think it’ll take them to realize where he is? And what will happen when they do and come looking for him? They will Bellamy.”

 

“Relax, Princess. Nobody was around when we took him and thanks to the storm we didn’t see a soul on our way back.”

 

Lexa was staring at us now and so was Manning.

 

“Okay. In case you missed it. His people are already killing us.” He opened the book and showed me a drawing on our camp and tally marks on the next page with 10 crossed off.   
“They knew we were here since day 1. How many of our people need to die before you realize we’re fighting a war?”

 

“We’re not soldiers, Bellamy. Look at him. We can’t win.”

 

“You’re right, we can’t, unless we fight back!”

 

Dammit Bellamy

 

“Clarke he’s seizing!” 

 

“On my way!” I rush down the steps and Raven is just standing over him. 

 

“He was fine and then…”

 

“Get my mother on the radio now!” She’s not moving. “Raven! Now!”

 

“The radio’s dead Clarke. It went out a couple of minutes ago. Interference from the storm. We’re alone.”

 

Fuck!

 

“Please, don’t let him die.” Dammit, Raven don’t tell me that!

 

It felt like hours before he stopped. 

 

“Okay help me turn him over!” She didn’t move. “Raven! There’s fluid in his lungs he can choke!” She snapped out of it and helped me.

 

“Fluid in his lungs. Does that mean the knife hit something?”

 

“No, this isn’t blood, it’s something else. I did everything she told me…. Wait shortness of breath, fever, seizing. It’s poison!”

 

“How? I watched you sterilize everything!”

 

“Not everything. Stay with him and watch him!” I grab the dagger and head up the stairs.

 

Finn is not going to die!

 

+

 

“Clarke! They locked the hatch. I can’t get in!”

 

She starts banging on the door. “Open up now!” 

 

They open the hatch for her? Really?

 

“Get out of my way Manning! Now!” Woah, she’s on a mission.

 

She’s walking over to the grounder. “What’s on this?”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“He poisoned the blade! All this time you knew Finn was going to die no matter what we did. What is it?! Is there an antidote?!”

 

God. “Clarke, he doesn’t understand you.”

 

“The vials.” Lexa gets up and hands her the box.

 

“You’d have to be stupid to have a poison around this long without an antidote.”

 

Dammit. He wouldn’t. He saved me. Dammit! Finn, no!

 

“Which one?! Our friend is dying down there and you can stop that!” 

 

“Please, just show us!” Maybe he’ll answer to me.

 

“I’ll get him to talk.” Bellamy starts walking towards him with his fists in a ball. No!

 

I run to grab his arm. “Bellamy no! Please!”

 

“Dammit O he wants Finn to die! Why can’t you see that?!” He looks to Clarke. “Do you want him to live or not?” 

 

Clarke.

 

“Clarke you even said it yourself this is not who we are! He was protecting me! He saved my life!” Please!

 

“We’re talking about Finn’s life!” Bellamy is losing it down here.

 

“Do it.” Clarke! No!

 

“Just tell us! Please!” Manning and Lexa grabbed my arms to hold me back.

 

Bellamy went to grab a seatbelt and tore off his shirt. Wow.

 

“Bellamy no, please!” He struck him.

 

Then again. God no!

 

“Please. Which one is the antidote! Tell me and this will stop!”

 

“Please! Just tell them!” Why isn’t he listening to me?

 

Bellamy puts his hand on her and she moves.

 

3

 

5

 

How long will he not talk! Please! This hurts me!

 

“Please! Just tell them and they’ll stop!” I’m tearing up.

 

8

 

12

 

17

 

“Clarke! He’s getting worse!” Raven.

 

“We’re running out of time!” Clarke scatters the veils on the ground and asks him again.

 

He’s weak, I don’t know how much more he can take. They’re killing him! And I’m tearing up inside.

 

Still no response.

 

“Maybe this will help. Clarke, you don’t have to be here for this.” He looks over at her but she doesn’t move. He has a long screw.

 

“Bellamy no!” I run toward him but Lexa holds me back. This is hurting her too. I can see it in her face “Please, Bellamy! Don’t do it!”

 

“What’s taking so long!” Raven was coming up the stairs. “He stopped breathing.”

 

“What?!” Clarke tried to run downstairs but Raven stops her.

 

“He started again but next time he might not!”

 

“He won’t tell us anything.” Clarke’s voice cracked.

 

“Wanna bet?” She walks over to the wires. Raven no! Lexa’s grip on me tightens.

 

She electrocutes him. No.

 

“Which one is it! Come on!” He doesn’t respond.

 

She does it again. He’s in pain!

 

Still no answer. I have to do something!

 

“He’s all I have!” Raven’s crying. She shocks him again and he’s knees buckle.

 

“No more!” I have the knife in my hand.

 

“He’s letting Finn die!” Raven is crying hard.

 

“He won’t let me die” I cut up my forearm. 

 

“Octavia no!” Bellamy rushes to me.

 

Fuck that hurt! His eyes are wide and he’s staring at me.

 

I move past Bellamy and kneel down in front of him next to the veils.

 

“Which one is it?” I use the knife to direct him. He moves his head over to the left. “Good. This one?

 

He moves his head again. I pick up the last veil and hold it up to his face.

 

“This one?” He nods his head yes. I give it to Clarke. She thanks me and runs back down the stairs with raven.

 

I knew he wouldn’t let me die. Bellamy tried to grab me. “Don’t! Don’t touch me!”

 

“O…” He has his sorry look.

 

“Don’t.” I look back over to the grounder and he’s looking at me. I’m sorry I didn’t think about this earlier. I can’t have them keep hurting you like that!

 

+

 

Finn’s semi-conscious. Good. I need him to drink it.

 

“Finn open your mouth, this will make you feel better.” He does as he’s told and I give him most of it. I left some for Octavia but she won’t need as much as he does. Raven covers   
him up with the blanket.

 

“How do you know this will work?” She won’t look at me.

 

“We’ll know when he’s awake. He’ll need water when he gets up do you mind?”

 

She goes up stairs to get it. I look at Finn and start to cry. I lay my head on his shoulder.

 

“Clarke… Clarke can you hear me? The storm is passing. How’s Finn doing?”

 

“I think he’ll be okay.”

 

“Well that’s thanks to you. I’m so proud of you! Clarke, your father would be proud of you too.”

 

Excuse me?

 

“Don’t… Don’t talk about him.”

 

“Clarke… baby I know something else is wrong. Please talk to me.”

 

“Dad’s dead because of you.” I can’t hold it back any more. “You turned him in. I know it. Wells told me before he… He let me think he did it. He let me hate him so I wouldn’t hate   
you.”

 

“Clarke I want you to listen to me. That was never supposed to happen. Jaha was supposed to talk him out of it.”

 

Liar!

 

“I’m done talking to you!” I hit the red button and I hear static. I’m balling my eyes out at this point.

 

+

 

I go up the stairs and Clarke is struggling with the grounder to clean his wound.

 

“Here.” She turns around. “Let me try.” She hands me the cloth and he opens up his hand.

 

“Octavia, I never wanted him to get hurt. You have to know that. I just wanted to save Finn.”

 

Oh God, Clarke shut up!

 

“You didn’t save Finn. That was me. But whatever you need to tell yourself to make you feel better.”

 

She left after that without a word.

 

“I’m so sorry. You save my life and look at the thanks you get. I never wanted any of this to happen to you.” He grabbed my hand. I look at him.

 

“Thank you.” It was barely above a whisper. He could speak. 

 

He keeps on surprising me.

 

“Hey!” Manning woke up, shit. “Did he just say something?”

 

“No.” Fuck, believe me please.

 

“You know your brother doesn’t want you up here, Octavia, let’s go.”

 

Thank God.

 

I put the cloth back into the water and left. I look back over at him and he’s watching me. 

 

I’ll come back for you.

 

+

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey.” She’s here. “Good save.” She’s so beautiful when she smiles.

 

“It wasn’t just me.” Don’t look like that. I can’t see you like that. “She needs you, Finn.”

 

I need you.

 

“Raven, he’s awake. He was asking for you.”

 

Clarke, please, you can’t do this.

 

Raven.

 

“I thought I lost you.” She leans down and gives me a hug but it doesn’t feel right. 

 

I look over at Clarke and she turns her head around to look at me. She feels it too I know it. She’s also right. I can’t just leave Raven after what she went through to get down here. 

Clarke left and my heart fells empty now.

 

Fuck, I don’t know what to do..

 

+

 

That was for the better and doing that lifted a weight off my shoulders. I feel like I can breathe now.

 

“We’ll get this cleaned up.” Bellamy was talking about the storm damage. 

 

I don’t care about that right now Bellamy.

 

“I wish this was our only mess.” I walk past him and he grabs the screw I was holding.

 

“Clarke… Who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things.”

 

Well shit.

 

“What are we going to do with him? We can’t keep him locked up here forever.”

 

“If we let him go, he’ll be back, and not alone. It’s not easy being in charge is it?”

 

I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t want any of this to happen.

 

Lexa was hauling around wood that was damaged in the storm. There’s another thing in my life I don’t know what to do with. She looks over at me and stops walking. Her face is unreadable, she turns back around and keeps walking. 

 

Dammit Lexa!

 

She puts down the log and nods her head to follow her. We move away from everyone but still safe inside the camp.

 

“You’ve been avoiding me Lexa.” She wasn’t looking at me.

 

“I’ve just been thinking about things and I had to stay away from you today. I needed you to think for yourself as well.”

 

“Lexa, what are you talking about? You’re acting weird.” I try to grab her hand but she moved it away. “Lexa, please, just talk to me. What we’re you thinking about and what did you need me to think about?”

 

“Finn.” 

 

That was not the answer I was expecting.

 

“Yesterday when we went to go save Octavia, we were in the grounders cave and he had me pinned on the floor. He went to stab me and that’s when I got this cut on my hand…”

 

“Lexa why are you telling me this?” Why do I feel nervous?

 

“The grounder went to stab me again and Finn pushed him out of the way and that’s when he got stabbed. First I thought it was an instincts thing but once he got stabbed he kept on mumbling, ‘This will be it. This has to be it, she has to trust me now.’ At first I didn’t understand what he was talking about but then I remembered earlier… I was sort of ease dropping on your guys conversation.”

 

“Lexa, what are you getting at?”

 

“You said you couldn’t trust him anymore. I think he only saved me to get redemption from you. I mean we all know we don’t like each other, look what I did to his face. I know that might be a terrible thing to think but uhm I also wanted to see how you would react in all this and it’s exactly what I thought.”

 

“Lexa…” Why am I tearing?

 

“Please Clarke, don’t cry. You love him and it’s okay... I just don’t want to be a rebound.”

 

“You’re not a rebound, Lexa, I care about you.” She looked like she was going to cry too.

 

“Maybe but you need to sort out your feelings and so do I.”

 

“Finn lied to me. He’s a jerk for what he’s doing to Raven. He’s not good for me and I don’t want him. I walked away from him and it felt amazing. He doesn’t deserve me nor Raven. He cheated and I don’t want someone like that.”

 

“If he wasn’t dating Raven, if he didn’t lie to you… would you still be trying to be with him?”

 

“What? That doesn’t matter. He has Raven.”

 

“Clarke it matters! Just imagine the situation in reverse; take your feelings for Finn and implant them in me for Roma, would you still want to date me then, knowing my feelings for Roma?”

 

“Lexa, that’s not fair!”

 

“This isn’t fair!” She points between the both of us and looks away.

 

“No matter what I keep telling myself about getting close to people, no matter what I battle in myself everyday about this, I always think about you and how amazing it feels to be around you and it’s not fair to me if you’re still thinking about Finn.”

 

“Lexa, please! You have to believe that what Finn and I had is over. It doesn’t mean anything to me” I grab her hand and she lets me. “I’m devoting myself only to you. How I reacted today to save him was because he’s a good friend and we do have history so of course I didn’t want him to die but that’s all it is a friendship. Nothing more, nothing less.”

 

She looks up at me and actually looks at me, she’s crying. She gives me a hug and I can feel her shaking.

 

“I almost died yesterday.” I hug her tighter. “In the woods a group of grounders were chasing us, Jasper fell and I tripped over him. Once we got ourselves up the grounder was inches away from us with their sword. I thought I was going to die; a million things went through my head but the last thing that I remember thinking was I was never going to see Clarke and her smile again, that I was going to break my promise of seeing her at noon Haha…”

 

“You’re not going to die anytime soon, Lexa, your stories not over yet and ours is barely starting.”

 

She loosens up her grip and looks at me, her eyes flicker down to my lips and she licks hers, she looks back up at me and I nod. She leans in closer and so do I. Her embrace consumes me and I know this is where I need to be, here, in her arms, for the rest of our lives. But not at this moment.

 

“Clarke!” 

 

Lexa’s lips weren’t even touching mine yet! Can’t I just have 5 minutes, please!

 

“Ugh, what? What can possibly be wrong now?” 

 

Lexa rolls her eyes “I don’t know but I’m going to kill, Reyes!”

 

“Maybe if I don’t answer they’ll stop bothering.”

 

“Or they’ll think something’s bad happened to you since we have a grounder locked up and his people will come and search for him soon.” Just pure sarcasm.

 

“I love your sass but you need to relax, let’s just try that one more time before they find us over here.”

 

Lexa had pure heart eyes, “I like how your mind works Clarke.” She leans in again.

 

“Clarke! Where are you?!” Raven shouts again.

 

Lexa stiffens and I touch our foreheads together, “This will definitely be picked up later, okay?” Lexa nods. I start to turn and walk away.

 

“Wait.” Lexa grabs my hand and kisses my cheek. My face turns super red and my cheek burns where she kissed me. “This will definitely be picked up later.” She winks at me and   
we head back over to the rest of the camp, hand in hand.

 

This better be important Reyes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you see what I did there with the names? ;)


	8. Hallucinogens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the suuuuper late update. I wrote this chapter differently than the others. Let me know if you guys like it! :)  
> I also have this story up on wattpad if you like that better  
> https://www.wattpad.com/327017544-the-100-reclassified-the-beginning

Everyone is starring at Clarke and Lexa walking toward the drop ship hand in hand.

 

“What is it Raven?” Clarke muttered out in annoyance.

Raven turns around and looks at their intertwined hands, “Oh sorry, I didn’t know I was interrupting something but uhm I thought you should know that I’ve figured out how to video call the ark.”

“Is it up and running already?” Lexa looks everywhere else but at Raven.

“No, not yet Woods. I still need to disable all the unnecessary equipment and see if I can connect to the video panels that are already installed in the drop ship. Then it’s all just mechanics and engineering from there.”

Lexa whips her head to face Raven, “Then why would you bother calling Clarke if you haven’t even checked if it’ll work yet?”

“Woods chill. I’m sorry if I ruined a moment between you guys but this is way more important than your relationship” Raven crossed her arms over her body protectively, “and she is the boss around here so I thought I should check in first before I started to dismantle the drop ship.”

“What would you have to dismantle? Would it in any way affect the drop ship negatively?” Clarke rubs circles around Lexa’s knuckles to calm her down.

“Not if I’m working on it.” Raven winks at Clarke and Lexa took a step toward her. Clarke pulls her back and gives her an annoyed look.

“Uhm, I’ll meet you in the drop ship just give me a sec to talk to grumps over here.” Raven laughs and does as she’s told.

“You know sooner or later you’re going to have to tell me why you guys don’t get along.” Clarke turns toward Lexa, crossing her arms.

“It’s old history that I’m over but after resent events it kind of just resurfaced.” Clarke gives her a weird look, “I’ll explain later, right when we get back to what we were about to do earlier before we got rudely interrupted.” Lexa pressed their foreheads together and chuckle.

“Come on Griffin, we’re burning daylight!” Raven calls from the drop ship. Lexa gives Clarke and annoyed face which makes her laugh.

“Calm yourself, I’ll meet you at my tent when I’m done talking to her okay?” 

Lexa nods in agreement and leaves. Clarke walks into the drop ship seeing Raven already operating on the drop ships main frame. “Okay so explain to me what exactly will happen once you get what you need.”

“Okay so from looking at the panels so far nothing significantly bad will happen to the ship. This baby’s built pretty well considering how old it is. The only thing I will have to watch out for is tugging on the blue wire that runs the electricity throughout this whole thing. If that goes out then this baby’s temperature will be the same as it is outside, which we don’t want.”

“If it’s a high risk then we don’t have to have video call. Warmth is more important than looking at the people from the ark. We can just keep communicating via radio.”

“It’s alright Griffin, like I said earlier if I’m working on it, it’ll be okay. Nothing to worry about.”

“Alright fine, how long till you’re done and we’re able to see the people on the ark?”

“Mmmm give me about an hour or two tops.”

“Okay, keep me posted.” Raven nods and starts taking apart the drop ship. Clarke leaves to go to her tent and to Lexa.

When Clarke entered her tent Lexa was lying down and twirling Atom’s knife looking blankly at the ceiling.

“How did you and Atom meet?” Clarke couldn’t help herself to ask. 

Lexa just started to smirked.

“I made out with his girlfriend.” She shrugged. She looked over at Clarke who looked like she blew an aneurism, Lexa couldn’t help but start to laugh.

“Wait, really? That’s how you guys got close?” Clarke just couldn’t believe it.

“I didn’t know Raven was his girlfriend at the time so when he confronted me about it I told him that he should break up with her cause she’s obviously not being loyal to him and he deserves way better than her. He agreed and we just… got close haha” 

Lexa smiled at the memory and the face Clarke was making. She held out her hand and Clarke took it sitting close to her playing with her fingers absentmindedly while wrapping her other arm around her.

“Okay you have to tell me more about this because for some reason I just don’t believe you.” Clarke looked at her and she looked hurt “hahaha it’s not a bad thing, I just feel like you’re exaggerating a bit.” She nudged her.

“I do no exaggerate. I just merely voice my opinion through my body in a certain way that most people don’t” Lexa protested.

“Yeah I think that’s called exaggerating Lex.” She starred at her and the other girl let out a huff “You know what Griffin, no!” Lexa pushed her down and got on top of her, straddling her. Lexa got super close to Clarke’s face. She could feel her breathing, her heart beat was racing and it felt as if it were going to burst. 

“Clarke… can I kiss you?” Clarke started to blush and chuckle. She raised her hand from her side and started stroking Lexa’s face. Lexa leaned in when Clarke rolled them over so she was straddling the brunette. Clarkes eyes were dark and she started to bite her lip. Lexa leaned in to kiss Clarke again but Clarke moved her head so she kissed her cheek. She opened her eyes in confusion as Clarke got off of her.

“You can kiss me another time, right not I need to go check on Finn.” Clarke kissed her cheek as she left the tent swayed her hips a bit more than usual as she walked away. Lexa groaned and shoved her face in Clarkes yellow pillow.

\---

Bellamy comes down from the top of the drop ship and see’s Octavia sitting in the exact same spot she’s been at for three days. 

“You’re still here?”

“I told you I’m not moving until I see him.”

“Get comfortable then cause it’s not happening… I let him live O, isn’t that enough for you?”

“He saved my life! And yours too Bell.”

“Look whatever twisted connection you feel like you have with that animal, forget it. You’re still not seeing him!”

“Why do you care if I ruined your life? You should want me to go up there, who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky and he’ll kill me.”

“You know that’s not what I meant Octavia.” She didn’t look at him and he ended up leaving back to his tent.

\---

“Clarke!” Raven called after her. “Before you go and see Finn I got the video call to work and the council wants to talk to you.” Raven went into a tent next to the drop ship and Clarke followed. “I thought it would be better to put it in here to get more privacy.” She said as if reading her mind, “I’ll leave you to it.” She walks out the tent and she sits in a chair facing a monitor. Jaha was the first to thank her for her bravery and strength she’s shown down on the ground. Raven had already caught them up on what has happened since she’s gotten down here.

“Can this grounder give you any insight on how to survive winter?”

“We’re doing everything we can to prepare here. We’ve gathered up nuts, berries, curing meat and digging for roots but we’re going to freeze to death before we starve honestly.”  
“There’s good news to that. According to these civil defense plans from before the war there is an old emergency aid depot not far from your landing site.” Kane held up a screen and Clarke wrote down the coordinates.

“In addition to the supplies, it can provide shelter for the 100 and the rest of the citizens coming down from the ark.” Jaha says proudly.

“What makes you think it’s still intact?”

“It was designed to withstand nuclear warfare so it should still be good to go.” Kane interjects.

“Alright it’s worth a shot. I’ll gather up a group to go look at it.”

“I would like a moment with Clarke alone please.” Everyone starts to exit, “Clarke we’re all really proud of what you’ve done down there. Your mother…”

“I don’t want to talk about my mother.” Clarke cuts him off.

“Please, Clarke it’s time to forgive what happened in the past. Let me schedule a time for you and Abby to sit down and you can talk about it.”

“I know you both think that by betraying my dad, killing him, was unavoidable but I don’t see it that way and I never will. So please tell me whose next and let someone who actually wants to talk to their parents do so.”

“Dax Hendrix.” Jaha left and so did Clarke. When she left the tent the cold breeze hit her face and she was reminded how much colder it’s getting by the minute.

She looks all over for him when Monty told her he was with the meat crew. Clarke told him he was next and went to go check on Finn.

“How are you feeling?” Clarke takes off the blood soaked makeshift bandage they made for him and cleans his wound.

“Weak, bored, grateful to be alive.” He looks over at Raven who was eyeing them both carefully.

“Well if you want to stay that way you should rest.”

“I’ll tie him down if I have to.” Raven interjects but no one responds to her.

“I’m going to be out of camp today, can you change his bandages in a few hours?” She turns to look at Raven.

“Wait, where are you going?” Finn’s concern didn’t go unnoticed by Raven.

“Uhm an assignment from the ark. It’s nothing you need to concern yourself with.” Clarke puts on the new bandage.

“It’s not safe out there.” Finn grabs Clarkes arm.

“Finn. Clarke’s a big girl she can take care of herself.” Finn lets go and lays his head back and doesn’t say another word while Clarke tells Raven what to do before she leaves to go back to Lexa.

It wasn’t long till she found her wondering around the camp “Lexa!” she turns around and smiles at Clarke. They meet each other half way. “Hey, I have an assignment from the ark and need to leave camp, do you want to come with me?”

“Of course. What’s the assignment?”

“There’s a bomb shelter that has supplies to help us survive winter. It’s not too far from here.”

“Okay. I’ll get my pack and we’ll go.” They both head back to Clarke’s tent to grab their things. They stop to grab some rations and head out.

“So… now that we’re alone you want to tell me why you and Raven don’t get along?” Clarke asks nervously.

“Right well it’s a long story that has some part as to why I got locked up and how my parents got floated.” Lexa started.

“If you’re not ready to talk about that with me then it’s fine.” Clarke didn’t know her parents had been floated. She mentally curses herself for bringing this up now.

“No no it’s fine. It all really started with my parents actually; they would essentially steal from the higher positioned people to redistribute it to the lower. They gave it to families who really needed it. I didn’t really see the big issue with it so I joined them once I got older. My first time I got food for a girl whose mom got floated and her dad was trading in her rations for moonshine, Costia. My first girlfriend, that’s how we meet. I fell for her the more I got to know her and soon enough we started dating.”

Lexa looked at Clarke to see if she was disgusted by what she did. If she was, her face wasn’t showing it so she decided to keep going.

“Well along those lines we fell in love, well I did uhm she started asking me to steal for her and I did. They were things that wasn’t in her domain. I had heard rumors that she was seeing someone behind my back. I confronted her about it and of course she denied it and yelled at me for even thinking she was. I let it go. One day my parents got caught, I guess the council knew what we were doing for years but just needed proof. They didn’t have any evidence on me though so my parents were floated but I kept redistributing for them.”

Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand firmly and squeezed, she used her other hand to wipe her tears away. Lexa didn’t even realize she was crying.

“One night I asked Costia to come with me and she got caught and was locked up. When I went to go visit her she was angry at me for pressuring her to come with me; she told me the whole time we were together she was seeing another girl behind my back, Raven. At that point I already didn’t like her cause of all that stuff that happened with Atom so it just surprised me more than anything because she was already with Finn. Costia asked to be released a week later when Raven refused to visit her because Finn and her were getting serious and she didn’t want him to find out about them.”

“Was that how you got locked up? By helping all those people?”

“Yes.”

“How old were you when this all happened?”

“15”

“I’m so sorry Lexa.”

“Its fine, everything happens for a reason Clarke.”

She gave her a weird look and Lexa stopped her from walking and faced her.

“If my parents wouldn’t have introduced me to redistributing to families in need then I wouldn’t have helped all those people and gotten locked up. I wouldn’t have come down to the ground. I would have never been able to talk to you. I would have never been able to get to know the amazing person that you are Clarke.”

Lexa looks her in the eyes and see’s Clarke tearing up. Lexa brings her in close. She brings her hand up to her face and wipes away her tear that escaped her eyes. Lexa stayed stroking her face trying to calm her down; Clarke’s eyes dart to Lexa’s mouth and back up to her eyes. She leans in and waits to get Lexa’s permission; she nods and starts closing the gap between them. 

Lexa’s eyes begin to shut. She can feel Clarke’s breathe and becomes completely intoxicated by her. The way she feels, her smell, the way her face looks as she’s leaning in, willingly trying to give herself to Lexa, despite her somewhat of an attempt to push her away. She leans further into Clarke wanting to close the gap between them.

Lexa pushes Clarke behind her protectively when she hears a noise in the woods. She whips out her sword and looks all around her, “Who’s there?”

“Put your sword down Woods, it’s just me.” Bellamy comes from around the tree with his hands up.

“Bellamy? What are you doing here?” Clarke came out from behind Lexa.

“I heard you guys might have found some supplies and when I saw it was just the two of you I thought I would tag along at a distance, to you give you guys some privacy, while also trying to help.”

“How thoughtful but you aren’t really needed at the moment Bellamy.” Clarke says rolling her eyes.

“Yeah not now but how are the two of you going to bring back enough supplies for a hundred people? Clarke, I would have thought you would have had more people come and help to bring back more supplies.” Bellamy crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows at her.

“We’re checking it out first to see if there is any actual useful supplies then go back and tell you guys. It should be a big enough shelter for all of us and the people coming down from the ark. I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up if it turns out to be a total disappointment.” Clarke made up at the top of her head not wanting to tell Bellamy she wanted to be alone with Lexa even though he already knew.

“That seems more than likely princess.” He turns toward Lexa, “And you should have told me you were leaving camp Lexa, you know how dangerous it could be out here.”

“Clarke and I are more than capable of taking care of ourselves out here.” Lexa said in protest.

“Maybe you yeah but princess here doesn’t even have a weapon. What would you have done if it was a grounder instead of me?” Bellamy started walking closer to Clarke. “Yeah Lexa could have protected you but what if there we two or what if Lexa had gotten hurt and you couldn’t have gotten to her weapon in time to save her when she needed to save herself?”

Clarke didn’t know what to say. He was right. She never carried a weapon and she couldn’t rely on Lexa when she needs to worry about herself out here too.

“Well since my cover is blown I guess I’ll just walk the rest of the way with you guys.” He got in the middle of them and put his arms around there shoulders, “You guys have a lot to learn.” Lexa pushed him off and got between them while putting a protective arm around Clarke. Bellamy laughed while Lexa smiled and Clarke was looking at both of them in shock. 

When did they become… friends?

“You know Raven got the video call to work and I spoke to Jaha. He’s going to be sending down people… you have to talk to him Bellamy, who knows maybe he’ll pardon you?”

“I shot him Clarke, he won’t forget that.”

Clarke decides to drop it and they start walking again. Soon they reached this crater; there were ruins and holes where the effect of the bombs showed.

“There has to be a door somewhere, we should split up we’ll find it faster.”

“Alright Princess but just stay in shouting distance.”

They all split to look for the door.

Something felt off to Clarke, despite the fact that it was very eerie and there were ruins everywhere something just felt off to her. She felt as if she was being watched. She stopped in her spot and looked all around her, Lexa had her knife out and was doing the same, they look at each other and nod in agreement. Lexa ran towards her before Bellamy yelled out.

“I found the door! Lexa come give me a hand!” Lexa stares at her and yells back before heading towards Bellamy. The door was rusted shut. Bellamy tried to grab his axe before Lexa raised her hand, “Please Bell, I got this.” He laughed raised his hands in defense and let her break the lock which Lexa did with ease. “Looks like you got yourself a keeper here princess.” Bellamy smirked at Clarke as she looked away rolling her eyes trying to hide her blush.

Clarke went in first followed by Lexa then Bellamy. They turned on their flashlights and started to explore the shelter. There was nothing but dust and spider webs everywhere. Nothing was there but concrete walls and some weird symbols on the wall that looks like it was drawn with blood. “So much for protection and food, looks like they went crazy down here.” Bellamy was observing the drawings. “Come on maybe there’s something downstairs.” Clarke walked and moved past the skeleton that was on the stairs. There was a room down the hallway. “Hold on,” Bellamy looked in a box and found some glow sticks and threw them in the room waiting a while before nodding “okay keep going.” Lexa stepped in front of Clarke holding out her knife, they walked slowly toward the room. 

There were racks with some food cans on them. They split around the room and searched everything, “I found some blankets!” Clarke shouted. “Who cares about some damn blankets Clarke? How about a med kit or some food that isn’t fucking expired! Or a decent fucking tent?!” He opened a barrel full of oil; he yelled and kicked it down. There was clanking. Bellamy crouched down in front of the barrel, “Oh my god”.

“What did you find Bell?” Lexa walked over toward him, he held up machine guns. “I found us a fighting chance against the grounders.” Lexa looked at Clarke and back at Bell. She did not like where this was going.

“Lexa come on grab a gun! You need to practice.” Bellamy was putting up a blanket that we drew a black X on. “Especially you Clarke!”

“I don’t know Bellamy. I mean I understand we need to protect ourselves but guns? Really? How will we even go about this? Who will have access to them?” Clarke was hesitant to pick up the rifle that Lexa handed to her but grabbed it anyway.

“Princess, relax, we’ll figure that out later. Right now you and you’re girlfriend need to practice shooting.” Bellamy smirked at both the blushing girls. 

“We’re not girlfriends Bell. Now move out the way before I shoot you instead of the target.” Lexa stepped up and Bellamy moved out the way. Lexa shot and it hit the X straight in the center. Clarke was impressed but was a bit disappointed that Lexa had protested to them being girlfriends so quickly. I mean don’t get her wrong they barely know each other but still. She knew they barely started talking more only a couple of hours ago but she just didn’t understand the weird feeling of sadness that swept through her.  
“Wow Lexa are you sure you haven’t held a gun before?” Bellamy was impressed.

“No I’m just really good at getting to that perfect spot.” Lexa looked over at Clarke and winked. The blonde girl gasped and swallowed hard, she looked away before anything more serious started happening between them.

“Okay… Well… Clarke it’s your turn.” Bellamy saw the tension between them and felt uncomfortable now. 

“Oh. Yeah. My turn.” Clarke shook her head trying to dismiss her not so PG-13 thoughts and stepped up to where Lexa was standing. “I don’t know how to hold this thing. Do I just put it near my shoulder or…” Lexa came up beside her and positioned her gun properly. Lexa was a bit too close to for her liking, she felt her breath against her ear as she spoke. “What… what did you say?” Clarke didn’t realize Lexa had been talking to her. 

“I said you hold it like this Clarke.” Lexa stepped back with a smirk knowing exactly what she was doing to the blonde girl. Clarke shot to her best ability despite feeling Lexa’s eyes practically taking off her clothes. She missed the X completely.

“Okay we’ll work on that.” Bellamy puts down the berries he was eating at goes to shoot. “Watch a master.” He smirked.

Clank. Bellamy coked his gun and tried shooting again.

Clank.

“Still waiting Bell.” Lexa laughed 

“I have duds. You go again Clarke since Lexa has proven herself. I’m going to go get another gun.” Lexa grabbed the pack of berries and started eating them offering half to Clarke. She sat on a table that was nearby, “Okay go Clarke.” Clarke shot again and missed even more than before. Lexa tried to hold her laugh but failed miserably.

“Hey! Be nice!” Clarke swat Lexa’s arm but missed when Lexa moved at the last minute making her laugh even more. “Oh you think that’s funny do you?” Lexa only nodded in response not being able to answer. “Okay then let’s just see how funny you think this is.” Lexa stopped laughing and tilted her head opening her mouth to speak before Clarke started to tickle her. Lexa lost all her shit and was laughing so hard she was crying.

“Please. Clarke. Stop. I’m sorry.” Lexa managed to get out while still being ambushed by the other girl. Clarke finally stops and holds Lexa waiting for her to stop laughing. Once Lexa finally composed herself she looked up and realized how close Clarke really was. Clarke’s arms were wrapped around Lexa’s neck and Lexa settled her hands on Clarke’s waist and starred at her amazingly blue orbs. Her eyes wandering all over her face taking in everything about this beautiful blonde that’s right in front of her. From the way her eyebrows are slightly darker than her hair, to the way her nose seems to be the most perfect nose she’s ever seen, to the way her little beauty mark pops out just a little bit, to the way her lips are just the perfect size and color. “You are so beautiful Clarke.” Clarke blushed and leaned in closer “I can say the same thing about you Lex.” She smiled and rose on hand off of Clarke’s waist and started stroking her cheek. Clarke licked her lips and she did the same. They leaned in closer together until their lips finally touched. Just from that split second Clarke felt as if she had just had been reborn. Nothing comparing to the way her lips seemed to fit perfectly against Lexa’s lips. Clarke went to move her hand to Lexa’s hip to get her closer but only she wasn’t there. Clarke opened her eyes and Lexa wasn’t there. She looks around the room to find herself back on the ark in her jail cell.

“Hey kiddo.” Clarke turns around and sees her dad.

“Dad?” Jake smiled and went to go hug his daughter. “Oh my god. How are you… how is this…” He shushed her and stoked her hair and kissed the top of her head. Clarke hugged her father as hard as she could taking him in. “This isn’t real. It can’t be. How are you here right now?” 

“The bigger question is why am I here and not your mother?” Jake let go of Clarke and crossed his arms giving her his ‘I already know so don’t lie to me’ look.

“Well… I mean… I miss you dad sooo much! Of course it would be you instead of mom. She… she betrayed you… betrayed us… betrayed everyone...”

“No she didn’t Clarke. She did what she thought was for the better for all of us on the ark. I forgave her and you should too.” 

“I don’t know how to do that when all I think about is her turning you in. It’s hard dad. I don’t know how I’ll be able to forgive her.”

“It’ll take time but you just have to try, that’s all that matters and she’ll appreciate the gesture.”

“I don’t know. I’ll try.”

\---

When Octavia left her tent she came face to face with a disturbing sight. People were eating dirt and grass. One guy was taking off his clothes. She cringed inwardly seeing that because no one should be taking their clothes off besides Lincoln right? She walked through camp and catching sight of Jasper who was holding onto a stick repeating “anti-grounder stick, anti-grounder stick, they can’t harm me.”

“Jasper what’s going on?” She knelt down and put her hand on his should so her could acknowledge her presence.

“What do you mean what’s going on?! Don’t you see them?! They’re everywhere and nowhere all at the same time!” He looked around rocking back and forth eating green berries as he did so.

“Is this all you’ve eaten today Jas?” Octavia grabbing the berries and smelled them. They had a weird funk to them.

“Yes! And those are mine! Go get your own!” He snatched his pack back and continued to rock back in forth eating. Octavia looked all around and noticed everyone was eating them. Not one person lucid in sight. She saw Miller staring at a pinecone and calling it the cutest pinecone he’s ever seen. She went to go pick up the clothes that the one guy took off and ran to the drop ship and to Lincoln.

“We have to get you out of here now!” Octavia rushes through the hatchet and drops clothes on the floor. She starts to untie Lincoln and he’s protesting the whole time.

“Wait. People will see me leaving. How will I get past them?”

“They’re occupied with other things right now. Some nuts they ate made them all high.” Lincoln let out a chuckle.

“Gogi berries. They make you hallucinate. They last a while and you sometimes remember. If your hallucination was significant enough to you.”

Octavia finished untying him and helped him put on his clothes. He was still badly injured and didn’t have enough energy to put the clothes on himself. She rushed him to the door and started to push him out, “Okay go before their high goes away. I’ll stay here and make it looked like you escaped instead of me letting you go. Take care of yourself okay?”

“Thank you Octavia.” He grabbed her by the back of her neck and kissed her. He looked at her and stroked her left eyebrow where her cut was healing when she fell down the mountain and he found her a couple of days ago. And then he left. She stayed there trying to comprehend what had just happened. The brunette smiled to herself and traced her hand over her lips. She turned around and tries to make it look like he escaped. She left soon after and went back to her tent like nothing happened, wondering when she’ll be able to see Lincoln again.

\---

Lexa found herself back on the ark in the release center. She looks over and sees her parents and Costia watching her from the other side. “What’s going on?”

“You’re being released for your actions Lexa.” Her mother was the first to speak. She didn’t know what was going on. “I thought we raised you better than this Lex. You forgot your duty and have lost your way since you’ve met this girl.” Her parents look over at Costia who was looking at the floor. “And now there’s the blonde? You don’t deserve her Lexa, you’ll never amount to anything and her? She’s in charge of 100 juvenile delinquents.” Her mother scolded her as her father just starred at them watching the interaction. 

“No mom it’s not like that! I’m a good hunter and…” Lexa cried out.

“We didn’t teach you to be a hunter! We taught you to be a leader, Lexa, not follow the gag order of some girl who doesn’t even know how to protect herself!” Lexa fell to her knees in tears. She was right. She was taught to always be a leader. Duty before anything else to protect her people and herself. Love was weakness and she was losing sight to that.

“I’m sorry. You taught me better. I’ll be better.” She couldn’t even look at her mom.

“Enough!” Lexa looked up and her dad started to walk toward her. “Don’t listen to your mom Lexy. She’s wrong. You’re doing amazing on how you’re acting after we left. I’m proud of you and so is your mom. She just has a weird way of showing it.” He was crouched down and had his hands on her shoulders. “I couldn’t be more proud of the person you have become. You’re doing great out there okay?”

“Oh save it would ya?” Costia scolded. “She got me locked up and floated!” She started to walk closer to them.

“No I didn’t.” Lexa stood up and faced her. “You got caught and you asked to be released. Don’t try to pin this on me and don’t try to blame Raven either!” 

“Look at you Lexa. Finally got a back bone. I don’t know momma looks like Clarke might be doing some good for her.” She smirked at the older girls mom and looked back at her again. “What? Did you want me to be jealous of your new love interest? Not gonna lie I am just a bit. You’re treating her way better than you ever treated me.”

“I treated you with the up most respect. I loved you Costia. You just didn’t bother to see that and I’m over it. I’m over this. Whatever’s going on here isn’t real and I just need to wake up.” She looks over at her dad who had a smile on his face, she teared up a bit. “I’m sorry to leave you but something’s wrong and I need to fix it.”

“I know Lex, it’s okay. We’ll meet again in the future.” Lexa hugged him tightly and shut her eyes. She tried her best to wake herself up. When she opened her eyes again it was pitch black, the only light source was coming from the moon. She looked all around her and found herself back in the woods. 

She heard gun shots nearby she took out her sword and ran towards the noise. She heard another shot before a scream. When she got to the source of the noise she saw Clarke on the ground with a bloody nose and Dax on top of Bellamy, choking him with the rifle they were using earlier. Lexa ran up behind him and hit Dax on the back of the head with the handle on her sword; he turned around and aimed the gun toward her. Lexa froze in place. Bellamy grabbed him by his shirt, swung him around and put a bullet in his neck killing him instantly. He pushed Dax of himself and grabbed her, “Lexa check if Clarke is okay.” She shook her head to bring herself back and ran to Clarke’s side, she was unconscious. “What happened?” She put Clarke’s head on her lap, moving her hair away from her blood stained face. 

Bellamy didn’t say anything. He was crouched down next to Dax. “I don’t really remember. I was hallucinating about Jaha and the next I knew Dax was shooting at Clarke and me. Shumway arranged this. He wants me dead because I didn’t kill Jaha. He’s the one that gave me the gun and got me a spot on the drop ship. Whatever’s happening up there… he must be desperate if he wants me dead.” 

“Why we’re you hallucinating about Jaha? I mean I get you shot him yeah that’s really crazy but that’s also really weird Bell.” She tilted her head to the side looking at him.

“Not in that way Lexa. He was saying I deserve to feel the pain that I caused him and the 320 people who sacrificed their lives in the culling. They were there too calling me a murder. I asked him to kill me, to take me out of my misery but he said I didn’t deserve that blessing… Then my mom showed up... When she did everyone else disappeared… She said that everything that has happened is for a reason and that I shouldn’t let it eat me up like I’ve let it. That there’s a bigger plan for me and the culling and me shooting Jaha was a necessary evil that had to happen. I woke up when Dax hit me in the face. I think it might have been those berries that made us hallucinate since it seems like you did too I’m guessing?”

“Yeah. My parents were there and so was Costia, my ex. I basically had the same conversation as you did with your mom.” Lexa gave him a sad smile, recalling hugging her father. The hallucination feeling so real.

“She’s waking up.” He was looking at Clarke now as she was opening her eyes looking around frantically.

“Hey Clarke it’s okay. You’re safe.” Clarke looked up at her and smiled. Instantly feeling herself relax. Clarke lifted up her hand and started stroking her cheek with her thumb. The other girl brought up her right arm and started to stroke her eyebrow. They stayed this way, looking into each other’s eyes for what seemed like eternity. 

“Alright love birds. Let’s get going. It’s already dark and we need to head back to camp now.” Bellamy smiled amused. Lexa helped Clarke up and had her arm around her for support all the way back. Not like that bothered either of the girls. 

“Did you hallucinate too?” Lexa asked the blonde girl, Bellamy turning around wanting to know her answer as well.

“Yeah. My dad was there. He helped me realize I’m being stupid… wait… how did you know I hallucinated?” Clarke looked over at the brunet and decided against telling her about the hallucination kiss they shared.

“Bellamy and I hallucinated too. We’re guessing it was the berries or the fact that we’re not really eating well but it’s a guessing game at this point. His was about Jaha and the 320 people in the culling and his mother saying it’s okay. Mine was about my parents and Costia…”

“Are you okay? I know you guys weren’t on the best of terms.” Clarke squeezed her hip to comfort her.

“Yeah. My mom was different though. She’d never spoken to me like that before. To be honest we never really spoke much to begin with. I was always closer to my dad. He was the same and Costia was well Costia towards the end of our relationship but she was jealous of you.” Lexa looked over at Clarke and she had a big smile that reached up to her eyes.

“Well yeah. Look at me. I’m someone to be jealous of.” Clarke responded wittily.

“Oh trust me I am looking.” Lexa looked Clarke up and down and bit her lower lip before reaching Clarke’s face which was super bright red even in the pitch of night it was still noticeable. Clarke looked at Lexa’s lips and licked her own fighting back the urge to kiss her not wanting Bellamy to interrupt their technically first kiss. Lexa knew what was running through Clarke’s mind, hers thinking the same thing and just looked straight ahead before things escalated even more to no return.

Once back at camp everyone was surrounded by the campfire worried.

“What’s going on here?” Bellamy asked Miller.

“I’m sorry Bellamy. I don’t know what happen but the grounder escaped.” 

“That’s fine. We found something that will help us take on those grounders and finally have a fair shot. Tomorrow a couple of us will go grab the guns we found and start training immediately. It’s about time we’ve upped our defense system!” Everyone cheered in unison and started to talk amongst themselves.

“Take me to Finn, I need to check on him.” Lexa opened her mouth to say something but decided against it and led her to his tent. Clarke told Lexa to go back to her tent and she’d met her later. “I need to talk to Monroe so I’ll just see you in a bit I guess.” With that Lexa walked away and Clarke went inside the tent. Finn looked up and they starred at each other for a while. Clarke was the one to break the silence, “I need to change your bandage.” She decided on saying. She moved to lift his shirt when he grabbed her hand. She looked at him with a questioning look. 

“Guns? Really Clarke? You can’t be serious.” Clarke rolled her eyes and decided not to answer him. His wound was healing quickly. “Clarke. Why are you letting Bellamy do this? You can’t predict what he’s going to do. You know it won’t end well. This is dangerous and…”

“I trust him Finn and I agreed to this.” Clarke cut him off “I agreed with him to bring in the guns. I’m not entirely too thrilled about it either but he’s right. We need a fighting chance against the grounders and up until now we didn’t have a plan. The guns will keep us safe.” Finn’s eyes went wide.

“You can’t be serious?” Clarke looked at him and back to changing his bandage. “Why didn’t you talk to me about this? We really can’t bring guns into a camp full of criminals.” Clarke really didn’t want to be lectured nor did she want to hear Finn talk about how she needed to check in with him before she made a decision. 

“You know what? Before you go on about how I needed to talk to you before I agreed with Bellamy, which I don’t at all, I don’t need to run anything by you. You shouldn’t be talking about communicating with me because if I recall you left out a very important detail about your life when we met.” With that Raven walked in. The grin wiped right off when she saw Clarke. “Hi Raven. I was changing his bandage. He should be good until tomorrow. He’s all yours.” Raven nodded and moved out of the way for Clarke to leave. Raven looked over at Finn but he just looked away and shut his eyes. Clarke walked over to Bellamy who was with Octavia. “Hey I think I have an idea on how the Chancellor will pardon you.” Bellamy turned around and looked at Clarke and turned back to Octavia.

“Great. Let’s go call him.” He turned around and started heading to the video call tent. They called the arc and asked to speak to Jaha. While waiting Clarke told him the plan. They waited for Jaha to show up. Once he was there he froze looking at Bellamy with wide eyes. “Bellamy Blake. I’ve waited to talk to you.” He looked at Clarke “I was hoping it would just be the two of us.”

“Listen Chancellor, before you start I wanted to say that you sent us down here to die. Somehow we survived and that wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t for Bellamy. He helped protect us and save us when the arc couldn’t.” He listened carefully. 

“So before you decide my punishment I think you might want to rethink it. If you want to know who’s the one who gave me the gun to kill you.” Bellamy cut in. Clarke looked at him and smiled. Jaha stayed quite for a while, contemplating.

“Okay... Bellamy Blake you are pardon of your crimes. Now tell me who gave you the gun.”

“Lieutenant Shumway.”

Jaha didn’t say anything. His eyes grew big but he didn’t look at all surprised.

“Thank you. Now you get some rest. The first drop ship will be arriving in 3 days’ time.” He left after that and the screen went black.

“Thank you Clarke.” Bellamy put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “Thank you for doing this. You didn’t have to.”

“I know but it’s true, what I said about you. You’ve saved us even if it was to save your own skin. You’re a good leader Bellamy. You just need to start believing it now.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a hug.

“Woah Bell don’t tell me I gotta start worrying about you now do I?” Lexa said walking into the tent. She knew Clarke didn’t like him so there was no chance but she still couldn’t help but be a little put off by the sight.

Bellamy chuckled and let go of Clarke. “No Lexa. Clarke here is head over heels for you. She just helped me out right now that’s all.” He said smiling at the blonde. “I should go talk to Miller and Manning.” Bellamy got up and was walking away. He turned around and looked at Clarke “Thanks again. I’ll think about what you said and try my best every day.” They smiled at each other and he left.

Lexa looked at Clarke with a questioning face, “Is there something I need to know?” Clarke only laughed. She got up from her spot and walked over to the older girl. She put her hands on either side of her face and started to stroke her cheeks with the pads of her thumb.

“Oh Lexa. It’s crazy how wrong you are right now. You know I can’t stand him. Why would you even question it?” 

Lexa contemplated the answer and just shrugged. “I know you can’t stand him but I don’t know I guess I just got jealous over Baloney over there and just my mind wondered when it really didn’t need to.”

“Come on let’s go to bed. It’s been a long day Lex.” She nods her head and takes Clarke’s hand into her own. Together they walk back to the tent and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're in America, have a great Thanksgiving and stay safe if everything's that's happened in the last two weeks. If you need anyone to talk to I'm here to chat with you guys. If you're not in the U.S then hope you guys have a great Thursday! Much love to you all! <3


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